on some deleted poem
21 Jan 2004, 2:08 PM
It is not your place to criticise the Church, young harlot. True, many Churches worship a nude being nailed to two planks of wood, but what you fail to notice, despite the painfully inadequate obscuration afforded by the thin veil you drape o'er your obscene buttocks, is that beneath our silken robes, we too are mere nudelingtons. -0-
on some deleted poem
22 Jan 2004, 3:11 PM
Did you know that when praying, a man ought to expose his glans unto the Lord God, whereas a woman should cover her shame? Observe...
1 Corinthians, Chapter 11, Verse 7
"For a man indeed ought not to cover [his] head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man."
1 Corinthians, Chapter 11, Verse 13
"Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered?"
And did you also know that it is shameful for a man to grow his hair long? Observe...
1 Corinthians, Chapter 11, Verse 14
"Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?"
1 Corinthians, Chapter 11, Verse 7
"For a man indeed ought not to cover [his] head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man."
1 Corinthians, Chapter 11, Verse 13
"Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered?"
And did you also know that it is shameful for a man to grow his hair long? Observe...
1 Corinthians, Chapter 11, Verse 14
"Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?"
on Sprouts From the Jar by hatedestruction
22 Jan 2004, 9:58 AM
Absolute tosh.
on Gethsemane (or, Jesus learns what's up with dying) by zodiac
21 Jan 2004, 9:23 AM
I raised the issue of why Jesu "prayed to Himself" in Gethsemane, and why He asked for an alternative to crucifixion when He should have already known the answer to His question, with a Christian, and the Christian said that when Jesu swooped down to planet Earth and took on humanoid form He was subject to the same fears and pains that humans feel, and that whilst in humanoid form He may not have been omniscient. What do you say to that? I don't think you can say Jesu IS God at the same time as saying He wasn't omniscient whilst in humanoid form, because that would make Him simultaneously identical to God and different from God. The best you can do is say Jesus was PART of God, but as far as I know no Christians endorse that view, and it is not backed up by the Bible. In short: buncombe.
on bimby by sneakerpimp
21 Jan 2004, 9:52 AM
You said "dump with love".
on My Daffodil bulb by YoungLady
21 Jan 2004, 10:21 AM
Ahh, but could not the same also be said of a freshly laid stool, glistening like dew in the morning sunlight?
When I woke up
The sun was hot
It shone upon
My chamber pot
And then I saw
A coil of brown
And felt I'd best
Inform the towne
On other days
The things I dump
Are mostly grey
And not so plump
But this young brown
So sleek and proud
Is sure to draw
A mighty crowd!
When I woke up
The sun was hot
It shone upon
My chamber pot
And then I saw
A coil of brown
And felt I'd best
Inform the towne
On other days
The things I dump
Are mostly grey
And not so plump
But this young brown
So sleek and proud
Is sure to draw
A mighty crowd!
on some deleted poem
22 Jan 2004, 4:24 PM
It's so like you to take the noble subject of bowels and turn it into a crude farce. 'Popcorn and pickles' is the aural equivalent of being nudged repeatedly in the ribs. 0.
on Forgive and regret by penguin fiend
21 Jan 2004, 11:15 AM
"You can ask me to punish you with turds, you can ask me strike you into the ground with my cane, you can ask me to slaughter your children with an axe, you can ask me have your name slandered at the bi-monthly Cheesesmith's Convention, you can ask me withdraw your trouser allowance, and you can ask me to ride you into towne like a donkey. You can even ask me to return you to the dung-heap I found you on. But there is one thing you cannot ask of me; one thing that is beyond all my powers as a Gentleman to endure...
You cannot ask me to forgive you. For that is something no man can do."
Earl Proud-Stocking XV to his butler, upon catching the feeble manservant parading around the Bedchamber in his Master's Jodhpurs.
You cannot ask me to forgive you. For that is something no man can do."
Earl Proud-Stocking XV to his butler, upon catching the feeble manservant parading around the Bedchamber in his Master's Jodhpurs.
on some deleted poem
21 Jan 2004, 11:32 AM
on some deleted poem
20 Jan 2004, 3:04 PM
Is God invisible, as the Hymn "Immortal, Invisible" claims? Discuss.
on some deleted poem
22 Jan 2004, 4:43 PM
This is beyond parody. Even if you drew a thousand ponies with braided tails galloping over a million magic rainbows in space through a waterfall with twelve beautiful secret princesses riding on each pony, and every pony was called "Star Dancer" and had a unicorn horn and wings, and all the princesses and ponies were best friends for ever and ever, and the princesses were also fairies and angels, and called "Lady Emily Charlotte Moonbeam, Queen of SwanSparkle Castle" you still wouldn't have even a billionth of one percent of the monumental, record-breaking concentration of preteen girl fantasy that this poem secretes.
Monospaced text doesn't begin to do this poem justice. It should only ever be written on a sparkly folder in purple gel pen, with hearts over all the 'i's, and "Justin Justin Justin Justin Justin" written all across the inside of the folder. For the love of Christ, delete this poem and never post it on the internet again.
Monospaced text doesn't begin to do this poem justice. It should only ever be written on a sparkly folder in purple gel pen, with hearts over all the 'i's, and "Justin Justin Justin Justin Justin" written all across the inside of the folder. For the love of Christ, delete this poem and never post it on the internet again.
on Crazy about you by nicole081083
21 Jan 2004, 1:41 PM
ABORT ABORT ABORT
on An Astonishingly Fast Way to Learn Dutch by -=Fat_Penis=-
11 Feb 2004, 5:36 AM
Informa\tive, Imaginative and ultimately fuffilling a splendid return to form from -+Fat_Penis=-.
on Everyone by nothingtoanyone
6 May 2004, 1:42 AM
Nice to see a poeme about me at last.
Your friend,
Everyone.
Your friend,
Everyone.
Q: What do you call an epileptic holding a glass of milk?
A: A milkshake.
Q: What do you call an epileptic in your bathtub?
A: A jacuzzi.
Q: What do you call an epileptic in your garden?
A: A seizure salad.
Q: What's the ultimate doom for a leper?
A: An epileptic fit.
Q: What does an elephant use as a vibrator?
A: An epileptic
Q: What do you throw to an epileptic who is having a fit in the bath?
A: Your laundry.
A: A milkshake.
Q: What do you call an epileptic in your bathtub?
A: A jacuzzi.
Q: What do you call an epileptic in your garden?
A: A seizure salad.
Q: What's the ultimate doom for a leper?
A: An epileptic fit.
Q: What does an elephant use as a vibrator?
A: An epileptic
Q: What do you throw to an epileptic who is having a fit in the bath?
A: Your laundry.
on The Tony Blair Which Project by wilco
18 May 2004, 12:40 PM
I like the way you have an incongruous lewd in the middle! It shows you have the guts to tell it like it is, and screw anyone who can't take the truth.
on some deleted poem
21 Sep 2004, 2:21 AM
"My soul cries out with my heart, âow!â"
Crystal, how you manage to still type on the keyboard in spite of the splintering of your fingers owing to your osetoperosis is heroic. That a special desk has been made by your parents so that your thalidomide shortened arms can reach the keyboard is admirable. That inspite of your terribly misshapened face and leaking food pipe you are able to brave the publicity of publishing your work is without rebuke.
That you are able to rhyme "ow" with "how" and not opt for the obviousness of "cow" or "wow" shows how far your work as come. Gone are the days when you used to take the easy way out and rhyme "love" with "above"; I should be suprised if critics in the future, in a more enlightened age, trawling the archives of the internet don't define this work as the seminal moment in your career when you cast aside the shackles of mental disability and fully grasped the power of language and the allure of suggestion.
Crystal, how you manage to still type on the keyboard in spite of the splintering of your fingers owing to your osetoperosis is heroic. That a special desk has been made by your parents so that your thalidomide shortened arms can reach the keyboard is admirable. That inspite of your terribly misshapened face and leaking food pipe you are able to brave the publicity of publishing your work is without rebuke.
That you are able to rhyme "ow" with "how" and not opt for the obviousness of "cow" or "wow" shows how far your work as come. Gone are the days when you used to take the easy way out and rhyme "love" with "above"; I should be suprised if critics in the future, in a more enlightened age, trawling the archives of the internet don't define this work as the seminal moment in your career when you cast aside the shackles of mental disability and fully grasped the power of language and the allure of suggestion.
on Captian, Doctor..Father by celticskatermatt1
2 Jun 2005, 4:36 AM
Please consider making the following revisions:
standing => squatting,
basking => bisqueing,
buttons => buttocks,
Captain, Doctor... Father => Master, Doctor?... Father?
standing => squatting,
basking => bisqueing,
buttons => buttocks,
Captain, Doctor... Father => Master, Doctor?... Father?
34C49000
http://www.mycgiserver.com/~prawne/code.