poemranker ::Captian, Doctor..Father by celticskatermatt1

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Free verse № 125988

Captian, Doctor..Father

by celticskatermatt1

Member since 2004 · Posted 1 Jun 2005 · 7 comments

Gallantly standing, basking in the bright morning light His buttons are neat, shirt tucked in. His shoes are shined, his face freshly shaven On his collar, are acorn leaves on the left, eagle on the right. Gentle eyes and a weathered brow He looks down at me and smiles. His bill of his cover is woven with golden leaves He shadows over my shadow as if we were one. Some might call him Doctor, Others call him Captain, But one name clings to my heart A name that shines like gold, I call him, Father.

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mean 6.50 weighted 5.40 rank 3139 views 268 View voting details →

6 votes so far. Yours would make 7.6 votes so far

7 comments

[10] Everyone 2-Jun-05/4:36 AM Reply
Please consider making the following revisions:

standing => squatting,
basking => bisqueing,
buttons => buttocks,
Captain, Doctor... Father => Master, Doctor?... Father?
[8] deleted user › Everyone 2-Jun-05/5:35 AM Reply
As a youth idolising your father often turns to hate or contempt in later years, which makes for far more interesting poems. But often is not always and this is a nice and gentle tribute.
[7] shrutikay 2-Jun-05/12:07 PM Reply
nice poem
[8] deleted user 2-Jun-05/5:34 PM Reply
I just saw your vehement reaction to a 'fucking whore', and it's not justified. The poem can be so much better if you would care to consider a reader's interest. There are too many writers who write and post a poem for their own benefit. They don't understand, or do not want to understand that the poem is read by a bunch of Total Strangers who don't give a fuck about the authors wonderful dad. If you want them to care, you'll have to get rid of egocentricism. Sorry Celtic, but that's the way it is.
[n/a] celticskatermatt1 › deleted user 31-Mar-09/8:12 PM Reply
i guess thats life sometimes
[8] Dovina 2-Jun-05/7:33 PM Reply
A little sappy, but alright, yep - all right.
[6] Jill Stockinger 28-Dec-20/2:10 PM Reply
Captain--not captian...