| Re: Christ For Sale by Caducus |
11-Dec-03/10:43 AM |
|
Yeah! Great use of "slut matriarch" as an alternative to "mother"!!!!111
|
|
|
 |
| Re: quickie by calliope |
15-Dec-03/12:53 PM |
|
Disgusting. Absolutely disgusting.
|
|
|
|
| Re: If you have a god complex buy a mustang! by Y2kSlamPoet |
16-Dec-03/10:43 AM |
|
|
|
| Re: The Thomas Brown Affair by SupremeDreamer |
16-Dec-03/11:11 AM |
Any of the following titles will be fine:
Flatulent Zombie III
Risen Dung
Astro-turd
The Brown Awakening
Soiled Ambulations
The Thomas Brown Affair
|
|
|
|
| Re: Rebel Spirits by miraclemaker |
17-Dec-03/7:18 AM |
|
A deeply disturbing piece that caused powerful sensations in my brain and body. Controversial stuff.
|
|
|
|
| Re: bonsai by richa |
17-Dec-03/7:23 AM |
|
If only the wayward branches of society could be tamed so easily...
|
|
|
|
| Re: Death & the Twisted Tree by SupremeDreamer |
17-Dec-03/7:35 AM |
|
"a path of emotions and realities"... yes, that describes my own life so beautifully. I also liked the way you used the Tree of Time as a metaphor for the Master of Rhyme. And the way you used Mankind's struggle with Death as a poignant reminder that as human beings, we don't always get the balance between poetry and sheer idiocy right. Thank you.
|
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
17-Dec-03/12:00 PM |
|
Could you please describe what was going through your mind just before you decided to rhyme "blissfulness" with "wistfulness"?
|
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
17-Dec-03/12:07 PM |
|
So are you telling me that throughout history, all people who have surrendered themselves to a God have thence gone on to perform great deeds? Because if that is what you're trying to say, then you are even more of an idiot than I think you are already just for being a woman. Thanks.
|
|
|
|
| Re: I smell coffee by Princess_Snowflake |
18-Dec-03/10:22 AM |
Line 1: "I smell a strong smell of coffee"
This is a stupid line. Of course you smell a SMELL of coffee. You can't smell anything other than a SMELL. So to say you smell a SMELL of coffee is like saying "I tasted a taste", or "I felt a feeling", or "I dreamt a dream". You should have written something like "A strong smell of coffee fills my heart with brownful lust"
Line 2: "floating around the air in here"
Again redundancy. If you can smell a smell of coffee, it's obvious that the smell is floating around in the air because smells can only be transmitted to the nose glands via a gaseous medium. You should have left this line out.
Line 3: "I am craving for coffee"
Sounds awkward. You should have said something like "Oh precious bean! Why do you tempt me so!?"
...
Line 14: "I want the taste in my mouth"
Do you, indeed? I want the taste in my ear.
Line 21: "Why can't I crave for coffee?"
I don't understand this line at all. I thought the whole point in this poeme was that you DO crave for coffee. I can understand you craving coffee but, for whatever reason, being unable to drink it. But unable to crave it? That's just crazy talk.
Overall: A good try! I'm sure you'll be an excellent poete in no time!!!!!1111
|
|
|
|
| Re: Heather by Garrett S Sexton |
18-Dec-03/3:57 PM |
Stop, hey, what's that sound?
Everybody look what's goin' down.
Duke called that man a gay
Some day soon he'll make him pay
You betta stop, children, what's that sound?
Everybody look what's goin' down.
(From "For What It's Worth" by Buffalo Springfield)
|
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
19-Dec-03/12:38 AM |
|
|
|
| Re: thoughts and feelings (draft) by crwncka1 |
19-Dec-03/7:17 AM |
|
Is this meant to be some sort of joke?
|
|
|
|
| Re: I Love You by Blindpoetry |
19-Dec-03/11:23 AM |
The Blubber Periscope
Loving you is what I should do
But seeing your face makes me spew
It's not your fault - I should know
I was the one who made it grow.
If hadn't snapped the bulbosity gland
Things wouldn't have got so out of hand-
I'd still have my dungarees,
And you'd be able to see your knees.
But as it is you'll just have to cope
With life seen through a periscope,
And rolling around like a spherical jelly,
You can use this Bum Harness to go for a smelly.
Time's up I'm afraid - I'd better get going
(Your tights have just burst and your buttocks are showing)
And much as I'd love to stay here and chat,
I'd rather eat dung than take one look at THAT
|
|
|
|
| Re: Loose Change by Miggy |
19-Dec-03/11:30 AM |
|
|
|
| Re: You tempt me to stay Walter. by The_Third_Isis |
19-Dec-03/11:32 AM |
|
espanol es muy bonita en los (verses) -10-
|
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
21-Dec-03/9:53 PM |
|
|
|
| Re: Friday afternoon Zoo by INTRANSIT |
22-Dec-03/3:22 PM |
|
Is this a poeme about the hustle and bustle of our hectic modern lifestyles?
|
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
22-Dec-03/3:29 PM |
|
Did you deliberately write "sings" instead of "signs" and "sing" instead of "sign"? If it wasn't deliberate, I'd say there's a 93.51% chance that you are dyslexic. Am I right?
|
|
|
|
| Re: TRUTH by somemorepoetry |
22-Dec-03/3:33 PM |
|
At some point in your life, you decided to write a poeme about God smoking, and about stars looking like ashes. Why?
|
|
|
|
