| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
Death & the Twisted Tree (Free verse) by SupremeDreamer Once death glared at me
stooped in a corner-
cobwebs encircled his brow;
the crown of a vampire.
I stared back
without blinking;
brazened him mirthfully.
He smiled then winked
before fading into the walls.
That day I set sail
for the black sea;
the waters churned
threatening to subvert me.
An island in the middle of a storm
was my destination, and there
I met the tree of time
who was a master of rhyme
twisted and coiled
around illusion.
It showed me perpetual roads
interconnected, with numerous forks;
a path of emotions and realities
changing constantly, cycling through
innumerous outcomes- it said
"Everything that can happen
has already- the choice we have
is to create from these a path
of our own, a fate that sets us free."
I told it of death- the end of the road
and the tree laughed.
"He fades as if only dream- a necessary illusion.
A mans reality stagnates and becomes irksome;
he must be tricked into thinking he has ended
then made anew- so he can feel the magic
and beauty of life once again. There is no end
to these roads; they are as twisted and coiled
as I am."
I remember these words
from the day my boat sailed the ebony sea;
the day I stared death down-
life's magic hasn't stagnated since
and death doesn't haunt my corner anymore.
Up the ladder:
Lenola prays with a stiletto
Down the ladder:
I Got the Romanian Flea-Bitten Blues
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.5
Posted: December 10, 2003 6:49 PM PST; Last modified: December 10, 2003 6:49 PM PSTWeighted score: 5.6723537 Overall Rank: 2025 Comments:
it's a nice visual. an epic in black and white.
for some reason I see "night of the hunter" in my mind when I read this with mitchem as the devil. very nice. 8
Thanks- I just started reading your work, and wish I would have come across it earlier, your not one of those rankers that stand out much eh?
Wild - I love it
Good show.
"a path of emotions and realities"... yes, that describes my own life so beautifully. I also liked the way you used the Tree of Time as a metaphor for the Master of Rhyme. And the way you used Mankind's struggle with Death as a poignant reminder that as human beings, we don't always get the balance between poetry and sheer idiocy right. Thank you.
lol.
Ohh. I'm devastated.
One: the struggle had nothing to do with mankind, it had to do with ME. But obviously you missed that while skimming through my writing and cooking up some insulting comment. And how nice, again you mentioned intelligence- as if calling me a moron a thousand times accomplishes anything. Fuck mankind. You missed the goddamn point entirely you twit. Why don't you try swinging in the air somewhere else?
You have the tree as a being when you used "who was a master of time" but switched to it being a thing or object in the next stanza, using "it" showed me- these need to match, not contradict.
a man's reality (apostrophe)Really like the lines: There is no end to these roads/ they are as twisted and coiled as I am. Beautiful! The last 2 lines are kind of a let down, I think, with awkward phrasing. 337 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Its what you choose to see, the ebony- or the beauty. You can be sailing, or you could be flying above it all- just remember: you can't fall or sink unless you believe its possible. (Call it extreme denial? or changing reality, but whats reality but a dream we've accepted?)