Re: Dildo (formerly titled "It") by http://bandgeek	27-Jul-03/12:55 PM
I think the marriage metaphor works, otherwise, I would think kayak.
Re: Killing Ben Afleck by Shardik	27-Jul-03/3:59 PM
FYI: a little sound bite that was on netscape said this, thought you'd appreciate: "New Breed of Men: Metrosexuals Metrosexual: (noun) Of or pertaining to a straight, urban male who is eager to embrace and even show off his feminine side, especially when it comes to expensive haircuts, designer suits, and $40 face cream. And thanks to a certain type of male celebrity (read: David Beckham, Justin Timberlake, and Ben Affleck), it's now cool for a man to own 43 pairs of Bruno Magli shoes, wear moisturizer, and paint his nails. At least, that's what The New York Times and a handful of papers around the globe say. "
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Jul-03/7:35 PM
Is this in response to "Dildo"- this trying to show the good sides of ownership (versus rentership)? I'll be a rock renter for life. But, possessiveness is pretty human.
Re: You wash up, I forget. by Bachus	28-Jul-03/7:41 PM
I liked "I decline out of guilt and fear and love and space." The "My mind concludes/ To much weight./For such a short time." is confusing unless "to" is supposed to be "too" and there is not supposed to be a period after weight. But you are right, bathtubs aren't made for two.
Re: Octopussed by <{Baba^Yaga}>	28-Jul-03/7:42 PM
My heart goes out to that innocent octopus. Nice storytelling.
Re: HATE by forsaken'sbigbro	29-Jul-03/7:07 PM
I wonder too if there is hope for someone w/ so much hate. Sounds like a lonely life that you've captured here. Have you seen American History X? Sad story about how people take advantage of angry white young men and misdirect the anger that's built up in their lives due to having hard, crappy lives.
regarding some deleted poem...	29-Jul-03/7:11 PM
Yeah, I'd rather go naked than wear fur, but I'm not sure I want to admit to swallowing.
Re: Cooking Class [Revised] by DreamerSupreme	29-Jul-03/7:18 PM
Too bad it was a vegetarian cooking class. Did you still get credit for the class? I became a vegetarian after going to a southern family reunion during which a whole pig was cooked and this, therefore brings back very nauseating vivid memories- "its grease slipping slowly like sweat" is such a perfect description, 9.
regarding some deleted poem...	29-Jul-03/7:22 PM
Youch! Sounds like a decendent of Cinderella's and Hansel and Gretal's step- mothers.
regarding some deleted poem...	29-Jul-03/7:27 PM
Nice, I like the first line especially, and the idea that "it" (the stench?) might recede at night.
Re: Sonnet for a Suicide by <~>	29-Jul-03/7:31 PM
I like how you showed the various emotions of a mother at a scene like this, her first reactions, to check on her own son and then worry about his shoes, both serious and trivial, were perfect.
Re: DJ Bling Bling spins authenticity by Jeremi B. Handrinos	29-Jul-03/7:35 PM
Nice job. Put an apostrophe in musics (music's). Aren't contractions allowed in Haiku?
Re: Too obvious by INTRANSIT	30-Jul-03/7:00 PM
Solidarity amongst pimples of all colors! Except for those big swollen red ones, those are untouchables.
Re: The Longest Wait (Revised) by Caducus	30-Jul-03/7:04 PM
The rhythm seems very lyrical, whether intended or not, but then the quality is broken abruptly with these longer lines. Maybe I've been reading too much rhyming poetry. But the words and images are a great start, just seem to need a little rearranging.
Re: To You, In Warmer Climes by <~>	30-Jul-03/7:20 PM
This is so beautiful and exact, it reminds me to miss fall and winter in Maine even more. Who are these wimps who can't handle the cold? I say bring it on. This lousy "vacationland" sunshine is giving me seasonal affective disorder. 10
Re: Vichyssoise, then murder by horus8	30-Jul-03/7:26 PM
Awesome. I like it all, but these lines " keep well refrigerated, yet awakening too. If I can keep my temper down and your tolerance high. The mess will be worth cleaning up." are perfect. 10
regarding some deleted poem...	30-Jul-03/7:28 PM
nice. I like "lover-lit parks".
regarding some deleted poem...	30-Jul-03/7:33 PM
Like the addition(?) of "After so long in the swamp". 9
Re: Ethnic Smells by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	30-Jul-03/7:46 PM
Is this a cryptic message to your forsakenbro? I aspire to breathe and secrete garlic through my very pores with the best of the extra garlic hummus eaters of this earth.
regarding some deleted poem...	31-Jul-03/9:01 AM
I like how you've captured the credit card woes in this poem. I think the last 2 lines are really good and tell it like it is, but I would change to "Deep in our hardened hearts of clay,/we alter freedom, the American way". Because who is the "our" in "our American way"? I don't think the oppressed people who are the "we" in this poem should have to identify with or own this American way. I think you were a little too broad in your topics, and though they are all related to oppression, I think you'd do better to capture a smaller piece of this oppression and expand more on it. For example, the languages comment, though legitimate, kind of came out of nowhere and was too much of a statement instead of an exploration, and then the point was made and you moved on to another topic. I think you can do a lot with this piece, even break it into a series of smaller, more detailed poems with the same title for the collection.