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Sonnet for a Suicide (Sonnet) by <~>
My son is safe, at home today. I called and checked, to be certain. Before I dialed 911, I had to know he was okay-- Call it a mother's bargain-- Before I could take action. I'd come across a gruesome scene Another woman's son, I found: A young man's corpse, just off the path, His body, swollen, black and green, Around his neck, a rope was wound, I discovered the aftermath. I was the one who broke the news. But, why do they always lose their shoes?

Up the ladder: Something for Lynn
Down the ladder: The Devil and I

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Arithmetic Mean: 7.266667
Weighted score: 6.9964733
Overall Rank: 91
Posted: July 29, 2003 11:56 AM PDT; Last modified: July 29, 2003 12:05 PM PDT
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Comments:
[9] Jeremi B. Handrinos @ 24.126.113.154 | 29-Jul-03/12:07 PM | Reply
"Call it a mother's bargain--" or intuition?

Last line is yummilicious!
[n/a] <~> @ 167.206.181.179 > Jeremi B. Handrinos | 29-Jul-03/12:09 PM | Reply
nathalie, who found him, did not go to the wake. because she could not bear to tell the mother what she had really seen.
[9] Jeremi B. Handrinos @ 24.126.113.154 > <~> | 29-Jul-03/1:19 PM | Reply
That's just heart warming. Did she think death was the plaid conclusion to a brilliant golf game?
[n/a] <~> @ 167.206.181.179 > Jeremi B. Handrinos | 29-Jul-03/1:22 PM | Reply
well, the maggots had eaten through the plaid, you see.
[8] god'swife @ 67.73.33.130 | 29-Jul-03/2:28 PM | Reply
You can write anything. I say we send our resumes to Madison Ave.
[9] http://mulberryfairy @ 216.195.145.75 | 29-Jul-03/7:31 PM | Reply
I like how you showed the various emotions of a mother at a scene like this, her first reactions, to check on her own son and then worry about his shoes, both serious and trivial, were perfect.
[n/a] <~> @ 64.252.48.242 > http://mulberryfairy | 29-Jul-03/8:04 PM | Reply
no, no. the dead guy's shoes were off his feet.
[9] Bill Z Bub @ 24.112.182.9 | 29-Jul-03/7:59 PM | Reply
like being slapped by a velour glove.
[9] INTRANSIT @ 205.188.208.102 | 30-Jul-03/6:08 AM | Reply
Did you tamper with the rhyme scheme? I know of two types of sonnetts and this doesn't fit either.
[n/a] <~> @ 167.206.181.179 > INTRANSIT | 30-Jul-03/6:11 AM | Reply
i used: abcabc defdef gg. i'll call it a zzinnian sonnet. i always seem to write them in that pattern, and, not it's not english or italian.
[9] INTRANSIT @ 205.188.209.14 > <~> | 30-Jul-03/6:26 AM | Reply
busted. cool custom job though. did you see this? or hear it in the news.
[n/a] <~> @ 167.206.181.179 > INTRANSIT | 30-Jul-03/7:17 AM | Reply
one of my friends, the mother of the chocolate kid, found the body. i tried to write it from her POV.
[9] INTRANSIT @ 205.188.209.14 > <~> | 30-Jul-03/7:52 AM | Reply
it's not supposed to be this way.
[8] Caducus @ 62.105.119.105 | 5-Aug-03/5:23 AM | Reply
The ending goes off on a insiduous tangent but because of that it works well and contrasts the 2 moods well. I just hope this is fiction. Why also did he lose his mind I wonder.
Neatly done
[8] deleted user @ 66.215.221.84 | 28-Aug-03/8:54 AM | Reply
yikes
[10] William Delacroix @ 154.5.40.141 | 2-Sep-03/8:58 AM | Reply
This poem was so good it made me lose my pants. Where are they? Oh, there they are, around my ankles. Silly me. 10/10.
[n/a] <~> @ 167.206.181.179 > William Delacroix | 2-Sep-03/9:10 AM | Reply
it's not that i _mind_ people touching themselves when theyr ead my poems...it's just that this is not the first one that comes to mind when i think of my more provocative efforts...

you are a strange laddie, sir.
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