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Something for Lynn (Free verse) by Jeremi B. Handrinos
Your sky-blue satin robe was my little boy blanket. At a time when security was a man on his way to prison. Remember when i cut my finger on that can of cat food and you held my hand under the sting of cold sink water? It stands out big as a felled tree, smaller then Red barns. In the movie called my mind I am sorry my father slept with your sister trading your heart for stale banana nut bread under a burnt out fridge light. Thank you for being my mother for a couple of years, it helped. That night you left my part time father for good? He let me sleep out in the front-room with him late and on the floor. We watched the "Wolfman" with Chaney. I fell asleep in my charming father's hairy arms. The warmth of his breath on my tiny neck and his dominant smell of guarding loomed throughout that boxed house. While next to him I slept almost like a baby. I knew then why you and I loved him. I wish he had felt the same. Before the change took place.

Down the ladder: Priceless Moment

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 51
.. 30
.. 10
.. 20
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 20

Arithmetic Mean: 7.785714
Weighted score: 7.0365205
Overall Rank: 195
Posted: March 4, 2003 11:39 PM PST; Last modified: March 4, 2003 11:39 PM PST
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Comments:
[9] OneFingerAnswer @ 216.138.10.3 | 5-Mar-03/1:19 AM | Reply
I really have nothing to say. I think it's about as solid as it gets. 9. And only cause I don't give 10's.
[9] Bill Z Bub @ 24.112.224.232 | 5-Mar-03/8:19 AM | Reply
my guts feel wobbley
[8] Mr Pig @ 62.105.88.10 | 5-Mar-03/9:50 AM | Reply
Jolly Hockey sticks I really felt I was in the picture, you've managed to bring this to life admirably. I do hope that your greek good sir because I have collaborated a trilogy of greek tradgedy and would adore you for your comment.

Thank you in advance.

Pig / Mr

8
[9] <~> @ 167.206.181.179 | 5-Mar-03/10:44 AM | Reply
shit. bleed tears all over me, and not a kleenex in situ. still negative? good. have a 9.
[7] lost in america @ 65.100.176.161 | 7-Mar-03/10:33 AM | Reply
almost there. still a little young.
[n/a] Shardik @ 24.126.113.154 > lost in america | 7-Mar-03/12:02 PM | Reply
Oh old one pray tell what we should do different to shake the youthfull energy that we set out for in this piece, and obviously achieved. How would you edit this then? What was young about it other then it being from the perspective of a 4 year old? What does young mean to you? I hope you're not elderly with alzheimers and lost in an rv? I have been writing poetry on a better level then you, and quite longer then you assume, i assure you. Don't jump to conclusions you can't back up with physical work. I will take a look at your work first though, before i stick your head in my mouth. Let's take a look? shall we?
[7] lost in america @ 65.100.176.161 > Shardik | 7-Mar-03/12:06 PM | Reply
sorry, i wasn't trying to be negative. i was just saying what i thought. i didn't realise you were four and wrote this. i guess it is good then.
[n/a] Shardik @ 24.126.113.154 > lost in america | 7-Mar-03/12:18 PM | Reply
You might be better then me on a certain poetic level. But I have a hungry mind and all the time in the world. If you gave this a four though i would rather you remove your vote. Simply because this piece is better then a 4 and we both know it. Plus, it's very personal to me, and i would consider that a favor. Otherwise, we have nothing more to discussw
[7] lost in america @ 65.100.176.161 > Shardik | 7-Mar-03/12:37 PM | Reply
did you write this poem? i guess i am confused? sorry, i am not trying to be a better writer than anyone. and i think it odd that you are trying to influence a personal opinion. i thought we were supposed to give poems a number rank. that is all i did, but here you go.
[0] poetandknowit @ 65.100.176.184 > Shardik | 10-Mar-03/10:59 PM | Reply
hahahahahahaha. A 4. This is sap. I.e. pooh. Send it to a legit pub and let them laugh at you!! Ooooooh. I am so close to this poem and you suck lost in America. hahahahahahahaha. what a doof.
[0] poetandknowit @ 65.100.176.184 | 10-Mar-03/11:00 PM | Reply
Oh lynn, give me that fucking blankey before I go nuts on you. I am super tough you know. hahahahahah.
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