Re: Homecomings by Nicholas Jones	4-Mar-03/11:11 AM
nicholas--there's unplanted topsoil here, until the last 4 lines. stop telling me. you've fallen off here. use your eyes to write with, your nose, your fingertips and toes.
Re: Extra Strength Tylenol by DurtKL	4-Mar-03/11:02 AM
you need a colon or the word "were" after "Her symptoms"; i'd recommend the colon, and deleting "Yet," and "So," to tighten it.
Re: Mens Cocks Have No Style by spank me baby yeah	4-Mar-03/10:51 AM
your tone changes between "there he fell' and "Is that cocks have no style'. be consistent! also: men's--apostrophe. line "Cocks are so ugly," is unnecsessary; explicate instead of tell. first few lines--metaphor is outstanding.
Re: The Guardian, page nineteen by Nicholas Jones	4-Mar-03/10:48 AM
nice one. why not "life and death--same page" for proper syllabel count? why break form, without purpose?
Re: a comment on Cannibalism by Enki	4-Mar-03/10:46 AM
wow yer kewl. was it lean, or did it make you FAT?
Re: Let Me In (I need some chaps) by TanHand	4-Mar-03/10:44 AM
explain, please. is this a fetish of yours? won't you let me in? (i'm not a chap. erg.)
Re: a comment on I love your pink little bow by <{Baba^Yaga}>	4-Mar-03/10:17 AM
introspection is a wellspring here, sirrah.
Re: a comment on G-Spot Blues. by spank me baby yeah	4-Mar-03/10:16 AM
howz about a tip for us girls with a limited sexual palette? you're an omnivore, sweet man. have you tips for the ladies who prefer men?
Re: a comment on wandering, north by <~>	4-Mar-03/9:54 AM
have you heard of near rhymes, goldfinger? perfect rhyming would have made this more trite, a line it thinly treads now. but has a beat, and you can sure as hell dance to it. and it sticks in your craw, tan one. it is the way it is because it has a target. it hit that target, dead center. see caducus's comment for confirmation of this. as an advertising design student, you should realize by now that it doesn't matter if it's perfect, or even if it's good; you--as it's creator--might even think it sucks. what matters is that your client blows his load when he sees it. and then writes the check. the money's in the bank. the client's happy. there are plenty of other poems that i wrote for myself on this site, and there are a few more in the notebook that i need to hit with the chisel before i post them here. rank me on those, monkey boy.
Re: a comment on wandering, north by <~>	4-Mar-03/9:47 AM
why would you like it present tense? the slide is finished. there's no ebb and flow--he's slid. is this what you mean?
Re: a comment on balthazar by UnityMitford	28-Feb-03/12:44 PM
HEY!!! you promised that that would be "our little secret"! you big jerk!! (heheheh! i made a pun.)
Re: balthazar by UnityMitford	28-Feb-03/11:17 AM
well, my old pal, i see what you are saying here, and i'll not lend you my box matches, nor let you siphon my gasoline!!! i may need them myself, and nothing makes me happier than a gigantic FIRE!!!!!
Re: a comment on UltraSound by UnityMitford	28-Feb-03/11:14 AM
yah, okay, fine. you make me wet. there.
Re: The Ship by Sh|t?	27-Feb-03/8:20 AM
damn those orange leaves!! however, i don't thing they are the crux of the problem.
Re: Threnody by Nanshe	27-Feb-03/8:19 AM
I could love you.
Re: a comment on On coming across a field of deer one afternoon by <~>	27-Feb-03/6:58 AM
i came, not the deer, dear. syntax and you should get to know each other a little better. maybe over a couple of beers. or a rack.
Re: Simple by strider1	26-Feb-03/8:41 PM
:}
Re: Harry Potter and the philosophers stone by ==Doylum	26-Feb-03/8:40 PM
my cup runneth. over.
Re: Weep for Dead Heroes by Tascobar	26-Feb-03/8:39 PM
ew.
Re: Whales by Jeremi B. Handrinos	26-Feb-03/8:39 PM
S3 is way out of place, h.