| Re: blue lilac and I (edit) by richa |
8-Aug-03/12:08 AM |
Ooh, this is a delicate one.
When the smelts are running the rivers really are silver though I could see if you didn't want to overplay the s sound.
E minor doesn't have to be a chord, it could be a key, which I think is how you meant it. Try "the trombones minor key" as most people wouldn't know E from F to hear it, but could recognize Major from minor.
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| Re: Looking down by INTRANSIT |
7-Aug-03/11:41 PM |
Okay, I'm an idiot 'cuz I don't understand this poem in the least and yet I enjoy these images immensely. If it's not too much of a kick in the nuts, could you please give me a clue about those last four lines?
Reserving my vote. I'm glad I didn't read the version with "indecent proposal" in it.
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| Re: Tug of War by dragonfly |
7-Aug-03/11:30 PM |
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I think Bedroom Butchershop is so much better just because it's succinct. This is just too much of a rant for me.
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| Re: Bedroom Butchershop by dragonfly |
7-Aug-03/11:23 PM |
I know that feeling and it isn't fun.
But, this poem is.
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| Re: Lethal Weapon by poetandkonwit |
2-Aug-03/12:43 PM |
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Pardon my ignorance but, what the hell does "I flatter z" mean? Aside from that it speaks to me.
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| Re: marlon by bearhead |
2-Aug-03/12:33 PM |
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What similes, as well. this is fun. I wouln't hold "crazy" against you for this, as it sounds appropriately neanderthal.
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| Re: a comment on Malcontent by EAger to Offend |
2-Aug-03/12:23 PM |
George W...Bush? How about "weapons of ass destruction"?
The difference would be that I know it's incorrect. But, don't you think it belongs in the dictionary? It's so much lighter than "uniqueness". I don't know. I need suggestions!!!
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| Re: A Dreamers Cookery: Cosmic Gardener [edited] by SupremeDreamer |
2-Aug-03/12:03 PM |
Maybe just "Dynomite fishermen wanted" as if in a classified ad. Also, immolation to me implies "sacred".
I love the ending with the plum instead of an apple. A good thinking work here. I'll vote later when my thought is complete.
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| Re: a comment on Malcontent by EAger to Offend |
2-Aug-03/11:45 AM |
I like to make up my own words if they fit my rhyme or rythm better than the real ones - particularly if I figure that they are decipherable.
incestors - those who act on incest (sorry 'bout the type-o)
uniquity- just sounds better than "uniqueness"
Thanx for the 10. This is old and I used to be more brash.
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| Re: Kakistocracy by <{Baba^Yaga}> |
25-Jul-03/1:57 PM |
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| Re: null by Bill Z Bub |
23-Jul-03/5:12 PM |
Ah, cat-tails. the ultimate phalic symbol.
It was clearly the sister following in July's footsteps.
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| Re: Can you believe this piece of shit was #1? by horus8 |
23-Jul-03/4:56 PM |
Take comfort that the truth is far sweeter than any place on the best list. I'm hoping so, anyway.
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| Re: Voluptuous, Blonde Bird-Woman by http://mulberryfairy |
23-Jul-03/4:43 PM |
I don't believe that I have read a more vivid poem on this site! I almost gave this an 8 just to save the bell-curve but, upon re-reading it I don't honestly think it can be improved.
So, here's your 10. Thanx for making my day!
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| Re: You wouldn't know God from Adam by horus8 |
20-Jul-03/10:46 AM |
Is he really a "diluted twit", or was that deluded? Also, I think "sounded like a ten year old child" would be better in the present tense. I can't really rank it as is but, perhaps after a good edit.
Cheers!
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| Re: smile by nolan |
19-Jul-03/11:41 AM |
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I respect the pathos but this really lacks focus.
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| Re: I've lost my poetic edge by thepinkbunnyofdoom |
19-Jul-03/11:34 AM |
It might be scarey. But, it might be better, too. I don't believe in the myth that an artist has to be in pain to do good work. That is what our memory is for.
Take a 7 for reminding me of how terrifying it is to grow up and how much better I am for having done it!
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| Re: Slip by Terence |
19-Jul-03/10:20 AM |
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This is great. Inventive rhyme scheme and phrasing, and such great images. This is inspiring.
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| Re: Mistaken Paradise by DJCARTER |
19-Jul-03/9:38 AM |
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This has missed my heart altogether.
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| Re: Goodbye by Sunshine Conkey |
18-Jul-03/2:14 PM |
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I'm sorry, but I just can't see through the sap. You can probably get a job with Hallmark, though. The sentiment is worthy of pursuit and I don't doubt that it comes from the heart. Just not my cup o' tea.
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| Re: rainday by Bill Z Bub |
17-Jul-03/7:49 AM |
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Survivalling on is nice. No, it's right. I'd not edit this anymore as it seems to be sensibly nonsensicle. 9
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