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Malcontent (Lyric) by EAger to Offend Pleasures and pains
perverted and tamed,
ancestors, incestors
numbered and named,
lazy, glutonous,
amnesiac purposeless,
malfunctioning focus,
uniquity gained.
Taken good care of
by politics called "love"
retarded defectives and
mutants can rise above
natural animal
instinctive survival
the biomechanisms
of impeccability.
So, for ages inbred
a freedom like lead
twists manacled weight
down onto my head.
Supported, dependent,
lamenting, lamented,
psychosis cemented
to living 'til dead.
Free time abounds
piling up in great mounds
that the faults of my life
can be hidden by grounds
set to crumble - dry muffin
sent assunder, befumbled.
My steadfast denial
scores the the cancer some rounds.
Up the ladder:
days past
Down the ladder:
Young America
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.5
Posted: August 2, 2003 11:25 AM PDT; Last modified: August 2, 2003 11:46 AM PDTWeighted score: 5.0596013 Overall Rank: 6690 Comments:
Nice job. I like the flow except this one part:
"Taken good care of by politics called "love" retarded defectives and mutants can rise above" Did you mean incestors or insistors- I could see how either might fit in.
I've always found it fun to birth new words. Especially when nobody else knows the meaning.
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other than that, this is a gigantic leap from your other works, im impressed. Blessed with 10
incestors - those who act on incest (sorry 'bout the type-o)
uniquity- just sounds better than "uniqueness"
Thanx for the 10. This is old and I used to be more brash.
well, uniquity doesnt have my vote.. i say stick with the original spelling, but again its your poem, its good nevertheless.
The difference would be that I know it's incorrect. But, don't you think it belongs in the dictionary? It's so much lighter than "uniqueness". I don't know. I need suggestions!!!