| Re: 30,000 feet by Patsy |
5-Sep-03/1:36 AM |
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I dig this, having just got off a plane a few days ago. Like "Recycle", I figure I'm probably missing something but, I'll give it another read soon.
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| Re: Recycle by Patsy |
5-Sep-03/1:27 AM |
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I think I got a contact high off of this. I probably misinterpreted it but it links well with my piece "Are You Experienced?" even the mistakes read like an acid trip...
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| Re: the blessed by forevergreen |
5-Sep-03/1:18 AM |
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You could not be more wrong.
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| Re: a comment on Bury Me at Dead Man's Point by EAger to Offend |
3-Sep-03/11:21 PM |
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...coming west on Highway 11 take a left on the "dirt road" at the bottom of "the hill", and watch closely for the iron gates at the end of a solitary road to the right...
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| Re: a comment on Bury Me at Dead Man's Point by EAger to Offend |
3-Sep-03/11:13 PM |
Shit! I just deleted your last message by mistake. It's too bad cause I split my gut at the coincidences. Were you going to include anything about the "wildman" that lurks on the back road too? I couldn't really fit it into the script or emotion.
I can't wait to read your "version". Not looking forward to being beaten at my own poem , though. Please post what you have for me. I'd love to see those freaky similarities!
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| Re: American Hiker by Garrett S Sexton |
11-Aug-03/10:50 PM |
"ready" or willing?
I don't usually take to such popular images. But, when they're done this well I see just why they are popular in the first place.
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| Re: Memorial Park by Mona Lisa |
11-Aug-03/10:45 PM |
This is exactly that combination of vivid and vague that I speak of in "A Brand New Eye".
First haiku I've liked in a while!
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| Re: Sagadahoc to Hudson by http://mulberryfairy |
11-Aug-03/10:42 PM |
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I find this to be a little messy for you. But the storytelling shows promise. Judging by your comments here you know just what needs working.
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| Re: Concieted Checkmate. by LuckyJoe |
11-Aug-03/10:36 PM |
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I think this would be WAY stronger if you didn't spoon-feed us the metaphor. Don't underestimate the reader unless you're writing for pre-teens.
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| Re: twilight by geewhiz1962 |
11-Aug-03/10:33 PM |
I appreciate the concept more than the execution. Up until "How did I live it," works well enough for an introduction. The body of it seems to lack spice.
Although I do like "discovering my powers."
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| Re: (getting used to spending too much time with myself) by Patsy |
11-Aug-03/10:24 PM |
Maybe it's finally enough...
That first line kicks anus!
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| Re: EARTH Inc. Memo: by SP REYNOLDS |
11-Aug-03/10:21 PM |
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| Re: EARTH Inc. Memo: by SP REYNOLDS |
11-Aug-03/10:20 PM |
I dig this type of thing. Particularly like "ANDRETURNTOWORK" and "...dine on Pluto."
I'll keep an eye out for more of yours.
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| Re: a comment on Are You Experienced? by EAger to Offend |
11-Aug-03/10:09 PM |
thanx for that. consider it gone.
I tried to spruce up a few other bland spots in this edit.
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| Re: a comment on Are You Experienced? by EAger to Offend |
11-Aug-03/9:52 PM |
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Sorry, never heard of him.
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| Re: God is a Lady by thepinkbunnyofdoom |
8-Aug-03/4:12 PM |
Bunny, this is your best work that I have seen since I've been on here. You actually seem to have "grown" with this one. Nice solid sentences, refreshingly void of vanity.
This is your new benchmark. Congrats!!
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| Re: I An Anew (re edit) by scitz |
8-Aug-03/4:03 PM |
Might I suggest "Caught in the lattice of redemption," as lattice implies crossed slats...
Title; I Am Anew. ...even though it's acctually my least favourite part of this work.
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| Re: Looking down by INTRANSIT |
8-Aug-03/3:50 PM |
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Hey, hold on. How can the chasms be tiled? What was it before? Clay-tiled roof or something...I had the picture of decrepit shed roofs before and that really worked for me.
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| Re: Looking down by INTRANSIT |
8-Aug-03/10:06 AM |
Alright! Those last three lines are still perfect ,then. Somehow "to suggestion" doesn't quite seem to lead me there, though. I'm convinced that this is where the communication breakdown is.
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| Re: a comment on Three Brothers by EAger to Offend |
8-Aug-03/9:45 AM |
Yah, I guess I did! Only, some rankers get pretty damn offended.
See the recent Joe Joe vs. DreamerSupreme fiasco. Now that's entertainment!
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