Tug of War

No, you never did anything wrong. You were just doing what you thought was best even if it was selfish and in your best interest. You were just being a parent and giving me reason to take these antidepressants. So what better way to save you this embarassment than to walk out on me. I became to know you as only a source of income and even that was coming in sparingly. Every time you would pit me between you and my mother and play tug of war with my rag doll arms. I hated you then, but isn't it amazing how much damage you've caused and yet all I wanted was your love. Courts placed me on child support all throughout my childhood, so why do I feel so unsupported. I'll see you this weekend turned to I'll see you next week turned to see you next month. You knew how to make me feel like such a disappointment. Sorry I don't take after you, but why do you blame my mother? How could you not expect me to take her side or take offense each time you tried to belittle her or tarnish her image in my eyes. Was the fact that she was both mother and father to me a threat to your manhood? You wanted to crush her so I wouldn't have anyone left because deep inside I think you hated the fact that I was getting older and smarter and soon I'd see you for all you were worth. I remember the court papers and how much you stressed she'd always leave me home alone. But you neglected the fact she was out working to support me. You always loved to play the victim, and we were always the victimizers. No, not no more not no more this tug of war anymore