Re: Prometheus sang for vultures by horus8	6-Mar-03/1:58 AM
Oh quite lovely.
Re: An Ode to minorties that use Paprika by Shardik	5-Mar-03/10:02 AM
Oh Shardik you do make me snigger Sir, you have got your hands full on this one but remember not to wear your baseball cap backwards, the constabulary will think one is a thug and put you in a cell with hairy itinerant Slovakian belles. Curses ! where did one leave the bloody comerband, I am off to play canasta my dear boy - farewell now. -7
Re: Extended Stay (the motel) by THE GOD OF DEATH	5-Mar-03/9:54 AM
I feel you have rightfully mastered this genre of writing. You have a gift for detailing moments and presenting them with aplomb. I jolly well wish you the best and this you have ordained this quite masterfully. I bequeath thee a 9. Bravo !
Re: Something for Lynn by Jeremi B. Handrinos	5-Mar-03/9:50 AM
Jolly Hockey sticks I really felt I was in the picture, you've managed to bring this to life admirably. I do hope that your greek good sir because I have collaborated a trilogy of greek tradgedy and would adore you for your comment. Thank you in advance. Pig / Mr 8
Re: Fresh faced Danger-Teen by INTRANSIT	5-Mar-03/9:45 AM
I say this is rather splendid but its a complete deviation from your other works, one feels however this more playful than a poem aimed to satiate. Indulge yourself on a 7, Jolly well done !
Re: Instructions to a Sculptor by Christof	3-Mar-03/6:38 AM
By Jove ! I recall marking this as an 8 but not mentioning what an excellent poem it is, original and intelligent well done
Re: Unmasking Wyverns by horus8	3-Mar-03/6:30 AM
Thoughtful, and quite sombre in parts but nontheless a wonderful piece of writing my boy...9
Re: Tribute to the greatest ever American poem by Garrett S Sexton	1-Mar-03/3:33 PM
Good Show.
Re: FIRETRUCK by Garrett S Sexton	1-Mar-03/10:17 AM
You've not quite grasped this, One thinks you should adapt it as a limerick, a nice idea but what the Dickens are you trying to say? Turn Back Dick Whittington. -6
Re: His Dying Words (2nd draft) by Ranger	1-Mar-03/10:13 AM
Leave this be now my boy, write about something new, something thats inspiring then come back to this, you are trying too hard and its Saturday a young strapping lad like yourself must go to a public house and be merry.
Re: For my wife by INTRANSIT	1-Mar-03/5:56 AM
I bet your wife found this simply charming. I would however relinquish the line 'in a soft summer breeze' it serves little purpose without a metaphor. I have just read some of your other work and was impressed but owe it to you to study and pass comment on at my earliest convenience. I wish yourself and your wife many happy years of matrimony.
Re: The last day of an old year by poetandknowit	1-Mar-03/5:50 AM
One was amused.
Re: the midget of humiliation by Bill Z Bub	1-Mar-03/5:48 AM
Lose the title also, it ruins the whole shabang.
Re: the midget of humiliation by Bill Z Bub	1-Mar-03/5:48 AM
You have the beginnings of a sublime work let down only by an inconclusive ending. Now my dear boy try and focus on the ending, irony would fit like a golf glove. For example you detail most beautifully 'nature' and the representation of where you lost her (S1). What you need to do is carry that on taking that beauty then ending it most cruelly with the decadence of human nature. This needs to end in a crescendo of your sufferance, I feel one owes it to ones self to strive for perfection here as this metabolic potential to be a poets poem and that Sire if you are prepared to work on the end, would be a rare endorsement from myself...8
Re: Ten new questions from Dan Rather by horus8	28-Feb-03/6:25 AM
There are only 2 things wrong with Mr Bush 1) Everything he says. 2) Everything he does. It would be spiffing to see the man doing a multiple choice exam, he would never get past Q1. I no longer will read the newspapers about the war, I choose to watch cartoons there really is no difference between Daffy Duck and George Bush /Tony Blair, except Daffy is more intelligent. In these times take arms my dear boy and pick up your pen and write till the quills bare, these weapons of ink are the only weapons of beauty. Take care my illustrious kindred. Mr L Pig (8) - Read this confrontationally to your bosses.
Re: On coming across a field of deer one afternoon by <~>	28-Feb-03/5:08 AM
Delightful my Dear girl, bloody well done.
Re: Moon In My Blood by AtalantaPendragonne	28-Feb-03/5:05 AM
By Jove what a surreal piece of lit. You do really need to be more precise with what you are trying to convey here. This could be a rich purse of sovereigns but you've not tied it. I do like the line 'when I awake I am bleeding' its quite affecting but one needs to improve the context and enlighten the reader more as to what the bloody point is. I will give you a 5 for effort but take your time when writing poems, lock on to the emotions that make sense or else no soul will know what your talking about. I wish you well. God Speed !
Re: His Dying Words (2nd draft) by Ranger	28-Feb-03/12:58 AM
Oh how delightful you have made a couple of amendments to the poem. I feel this may or may not help you. What you must try and engage here is the derelict open spaces and smells in the hospital, think of something fitting to connect that emptiness of the hospital corridors to the emptiness of ones emotions. If I ever walk in to a hospital the smell, and sounds always remind me of my late Aunt Violet. The last line is sweet young man but one thinks it would be beneficial for one to leave this poem a while and come back to it rabid with inspiration. I bid you good day young sire.
Re: a comment on Greek Tragedy#1 by Mr Pig	27-Feb-03/1:29 AM
Very clever idea Nanshe. I guess it works either way and yes, a suggestion of genius, thanks.
Re: a comment on Greek Tragedy#1 by Mr Pig	25-Feb-03/2:17 PM
Sorry, let me enlighten. Aeolus is the God of wind summoned by other Gods to punish the mortals. So when he sighs a tempest is cast. Now ot the irony well thats our pathetic clown Icarus, I ended the Haiku with a dual metaphor for Icarus and Troy both of whicgh were doomed, the wooden seahorses drowning represent the turbulence cast by Aeolus, Icarus sank to the depths of the Sea (poseidon) and seahorses have no control or direction (like Icarus), Icarus is amused that the skylarks cannot fly in the tempest. I read a bit on greek mythology and its fascinating. Like the Haikus which refer to nature the greeks appointed 100s of Gods to interpret nature, wrath, suffering, beauty, happiness. I guess I wanted to challenge myself and though i have woven a possible irony out of this I fear I have shot myself on the foot by a diamante rifle. I know of a wonderful interesting website on Greek Gods and mtyhology which will truly inspire your work, great for metaphors and conections with nature. www.theoi.com/abc.htm Do have a gander and maybe comment later.