must you mix the doves with Saturn? you'll rupture the mammal space continueum and force darwin to dry hump kubric in a swimming pool full of nestle's strawberry milk... what? lol.
I bet your wife found this simply charming. I would however relinquish the line 'in a soft summer breeze' it serves little purpose without a metaphor. I have just read some of your other work and was impressed but owe it to you to study and pass comment on at my earliest convenience. I wish yourself and your wife many happy years of matrimony.
Two sexiest things on the planet: Cars and women. YEAH BUDDY! HOOOOO YEAH!!!!!!!!! Okay now, let's bump chests and rut for the ladies! HOOOOOOO YEAH!
Oh yes, what the hell is a kiss with a doves wing? did she chop up dinner and smooch you with the feathery wing before she plucked it? Is that where she belongs? In the kitchen?
How do you become a placid pool? Do you do it oil derick fashion. bump be bump, bump be bump and then leak and form a toxic site. I amybe strecthing here, but I don't get it.
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this is simple and short, densely packed with common images, but... the collage is almost poignant. leans towards trite. maybe just the "ing ing ing".
then bang ' a placid pool' really makes this short poem
Oh yes, what the hell is a kiss with a doves wing? did she chop up dinner and smooch you with the feathery wing before she plucked it? Is that where she belongs? In the kitchen?
How do you become a placid pool? Do you do it oil derick fashion. bump be bump, bump be bump and then leak and form a toxic site. I amybe strecthing here, but I don't get it.
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