replying on Castaway by andrewjthomas
9 Feb 2004, 8:41 AM
ouch! you really hurt my feelings :(
all i wanted was to come here and share my inner-most thoughts
with all of you
and what do i get? nothing but pain and rejection!
you're mean
i don't like you anymore
don't you see my comments were just a way to profess my love to you???
why? why do you deny me?
the world is cold and bleak...
i think i need to eat
more steak
before i break
down in tears
fa' rears!
OMG!!!1
i'm going INZANE!!!!!!!!1!!
all i wanted was to come here and share my inner-most thoughts
with all of you
and what do i get? nothing but pain and rejection!
you're mean
i don't like you anymore
don't you see my comments were just a way to profess my love to you???
why? why do you deny me?
the world is cold and bleak...
i think i need to eat
more steak
before i break
down in tears
fa' rears!
OMG!!!1
i'm going INZANE!!!!!!!!1!!
replying on Castaway by andrewjthomas
9 Feb 2004, 8:36 AM
no, not really
but sadly more impressive than anything you'll ever do
*smooches*
i <3 my cute little troll
but sadly more impressive than anything you'll ever do
*smooches*
i <3 my cute little troll
replying on Kernel of truth by annabellee
9 Feb 2004, 8:33 AM
yeah, yeah, whatever
go troll someone else you no-talent ass clown
go troll someone else you no-talent ass clown
replying on Soft Speak; Hard Emotion by Blindpoetry
5 Feb 2004, 11:47 AM
mmmmm, suicidegirls.com, mmmmmmm
replying on La Belle Epoque by andrewjthomas
5 Feb 2004, 11:25 AM
still not done with editing, going through each "section"
already removed the stranger in a strange land line, way too cheap (i posted my very first draft, which is my only excuse for that)
all other good comments...
and i may reverse the breaks, it's an experiment
tweaking........
already removed the stranger in a strange land line, way too cheap (i posted my very first draft, which is my only excuse for that)
all other good comments...
and i may reverse the breaks, it's an experiment
tweaking........
replying on Castaway by andrewjthomas
5 Feb 2004, 11:20 AM
this is a structure i'd actually like other poets to try out
so i figure i needed a name, good for marketing you know
and i have written a second one, and plan on writing more
so i figure i needed a name, good for marketing you know
and i have written a second one, and plan on writing more
on Soft Beak; Hard lotion by Bachus
5 Feb 2004, 9:56 AM
"My cleverness has turned into a very dill pickle" - confessional in a good way
very "beat"
could use some tightening in a few places
but enjoyable overall
very "beat"
could use some tightening in a few places
but enjoyable overall
on To A Streetchild by Sam
5 Feb 2004, 9:52 AM
very descriptive, a little cliche in a few spots (but not too bad)
i think you might do better to focus on your reaction to the child, rather than simply describing the child
if we read the hint of your pain and sadness
because you empathize with the child's pain and sadness
it just seems like it would impact more, you know?
i think you might do better to focus on your reaction to the child, rather than simply describing the child
if we read the hint of your pain and sadness
because you empathize with the child's pain and sadness
it just seems like it would impact more, you know?
on A Panglossian Farmer by richa
5 Feb 2004, 9:48 AM
nice sketch
replying on Castaway by andrewjthomas
5 Feb 2004, 9:41 AM
thanks, i made some edits, hopefully for the better
on The world today. by devina
4 Feb 2004, 3:46 PM
INZANE IN THE MEMBRANE!
tell me, how does it feel to suck this much?
tell me, how does it feel to suck this much?
replying on La Belle Epoque by andrewjthomas
4 Feb 2004, 9:30 AM
a little upset by that "1" I gave, eh?
but judging from the comments on your entirely too generic writing, let me give you a quick literary lesson
poems can be stories as much as prose
in fact, they have an entire genre called "epic poetry" and another called "narrative poetry"
why don't you finish grade school before coming to me with any critique, alright? k thnx
but judging from the comments on your entirely too generic writing, let me give you a quick literary lesson
poems can be stories as much as prose
in fact, they have an entire genre called "epic poetry" and another called "narrative poetry"
why don't you finish grade school before coming to me with any critique, alright? k thnx
on Friends come and go, but sisters lasts forever. by devina
2 Feb 2004, 1:10 PM
you need to read up on verb/subject agreement
and your sisters aren't things in your life
they are people in your life
and your sisters aren't things in your life
they are people in your life
on La Belle Epoque by andrewjthomas
1 Feb 2004, 1:38 PM
ok, this has several problems and i'd love some good editing comments
on Alone Together by lynnkyle
30 Jan 2004, 11:40 AM
i really enjoyed how you describe around the topic
beating around the bush with artistry : )
beating around the bush with artistry : )
replying on Spare Change by andrewjthomas
29 Jan 2004, 3:28 PM
hmmm, i don't like 'dupe'
but you're right, 'moron' definitely throws off the meter
so, based on your comment, are you in the south?
but you're right, 'moron' definitely throws off the meter
so, based on your comment, are you in the south?
on To Avalon by annabellee
29 Jan 2004, 2:17 PM
i really liked this, but felt like it was only an opening to a much longer piece
i was definitely left wanting more, and not in a good way
still, very nicely worded
i was definitely left wanting more, and not in a good way
still, very nicely worded
on Come off with me Carly back into the city by zodiac
29 Jan 2004, 10:37 AM
excellent
and regardless of your lack of punctuation skills,
this is not a prose poem