| Re: a comment on Corner of 30th and Tibbs by klosterfobik |
23-Aug-04/10:27 AM |
i really must commend you for proving the other side's argument for them so completely in your rebuttals
and regardless of your lack of punctuation skills,
this is not a prose poem
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| Re: a comment on Castaway by andrewjthomas |
9-Feb-04/8:41 AM |
ouch! you really hurt my feelings :(
all i wanted was to come here and share my inner-most thoughts
with all of you
and what do i get? nothing but pain and rejection!
you're mean
i don't like you anymore
don't you see my comments were just a way to profess my love to you???
why? why do you deny me?
the world is cold and bleak...
i think i need to eat
more steak
before i break
down in tears
fa' rears!
OMG!!!1
i'm going INZANE!!!!!!!!1!!
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| Re: a comment on Castaway by andrewjthomas |
9-Feb-04/8:36 AM |
no, not really
but sadly more impressive than anything you'll ever do
*smooches*
i <3 my cute little troll
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| Re: a comment on Kernel of truth by annabellee |
9-Feb-04/8:33 AM |
yeah, yeah, whatever
go troll someone else you no-talent ass clown
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| Re: a comment on Soft Speak; Hard Emotion by Blindpoetry |
5-Feb-04/11:47 AM |
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mmmmm, suicidegirls.com, mmmmmmm
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| Re: Emily Mae by horus8 |
5-Feb-04/11:41 AM |
what goad said
still, nice job over all
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| Re: a comment on La Belle Epoque by andrewjthomas |
5-Feb-04/11:25 AM |
still not done with editing, going through each "section"
already removed the stranger in a strange land line, way too cheap (i posted my very first draft, which is my only excuse for that)
all other good comments...
and i may reverse the breaks, it's an experiment
tweaking........
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| Re: a comment on Castaway by andrewjthomas |
5-Feb-04/11:20 AM |
this is a structure i'd actually like other poets to try out
so i figure i needed a name, good for marketing you know
and i have written a second one, and plan on writing more
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| Re: Soft Beak; Hard lotion by Bachus |
5-Feb-04/9:56 AM |
"My cleverness has turned into a very dill pickle" - confessional in a good way
very "beat"
could use some tightening in a few places
but enjoyable overall
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| Re: To A Streetchild by Sam |
5-Feb-04/9:52 AM |
very descriptive, a little cliche in a few spots (but not too bad)
i think you might do better to focus on your reaction to the child, rather than simply describing the child
if we read the hint of your pain and sadness
because you empathize with the child's pain and sadness
it just seems like it would impact more, you know?
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| Re: A Panglossian Farmer by richa |
5-Feb-04/9:48 AM |
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| Re: a comment on Castaway by andrewjthomas |
5-Feb-04/9:41 AM |
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thanks, i made some edits, hopefully for the better
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| Re: The world today. by devina |
4-Feb-04/3:46 PM |
INZANE IN THE MEMBRANE!
tell me, how does it feel to suck this much?
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| Re: a comment on La Belle Epoque by andrewjthomas |
4-Feb-04/9:30 AM |
a little upset by that "1" I gave, eh?
but judging from the comments on your entirely too generic writing, let me give you a quick literary lesson
poems can be stories as much as prose
in fact, they have an entire genre called "epic poetry" and another called "narrative poetry"
why don't you finish grade school before coming to me with any critique, alright? k thnx
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| Re: Friends come and go, but sisters lasts forever. by devina |
2-Feb-04/1:10 PM |
you need to read up on verb/subject agreement
and your sisters aren't things in your life
they are people in your life
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| Re: La Belle Epoque by andrewjthomas |
1-Feb-04/1:38 PM |
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ok, this has several problems and i'd love some good editing comments
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| Re: Alone Together by lynnkyle |
30-Jan-04/11:40 AM |
i really enjoyed how you describe around the topic
beating around the bush with artistry : )
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| Re: a comment on Spare Change by andrewjthomas |
29-Jan-04/3:28 PM |
hmmm, i don't like 'dupe'
but you're right, 'moron' definitely throws off the meter
so, based on your comment, are you in the south?
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| Re: To Avalon by annabellee |
29-Jan-04/2:17 PM |
i really liked this, but felt like it was only an opening to a much longer piece
i was definitely left wanting more, and not in a good way
still, very nicely worded
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| Re: Come off with me Carly back into the city by zodiac |
29-Jan-04/10:37 AM |
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