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Castaway (Other) by andrewjthomas
The flow
of the sea
is lost to men
who are caught inside
her storm. You sway with fear,
still loathing nature's regret.
The tempest surges, boat capsized
in water's search for nooks and crannies.
To blame her -- foolish, futile. Don't forget,
precipitation falls on all who said
the rain would never come. Certainties,
like her, are no more truth than lies.
What does denial beget?
You'll drown while currents tear
you asunder. Why
this urge to swim
against peace?
She knows.
========================
note: this is an oscillitet, a form of my own creation
rhyme and meter grow inward to a culminating heroic couplet
also serving as the central thought for the piece
feel free to try your hand at it and please let me know if you do
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Arithmetic Mean: 5.5
Weighted score: 5.134471
Overall Rank: 5598
Posted: February 4, 2004 3:57 PM PST; Last modified: February 5, 2004 11:17 AM PST
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Comments:
245 view(s)
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"her currents steer / your bow to break" - also weird.
Very clever. Reminds me of good metaphysical stuff, some Herbert or Donne. They didn't bother naming their structures. Never really used the same one twice.
so i figure i needed a name, good for marketing you know
and i have written a second one, and plan on writing more