regarding some deleted poem...	28-Jan-04/12:12 PM
yeah, it fits the form i'd put trashcan together, but that's just me i can't say the subject matter grabs me much though
Re: Come off with me Carly back into the city by zodiac	29-Jan-04/10:37 AM
excellent
Re: To Avalon by annabellee	29-Jan-04/2:17 PM
i really liked this, but felt like it was only an opening to a much longer piece i was definitely left wanting more, and not in a good way still, very nicely worded
Re: Alone Together by lynnkyle	30-Jan-04/11:40 AM
i really enjoyed how you describe around the topic beating around the bush with artistry : )
regarding some deleted poem...	30-Jan-04/2:01 PM
grammar feedback: Line 1: "were" should be "where" Line 4: "to" should be "too" Line 7: "wim" should be "whim"
regarding some deleted poem...	30-Jan-04/2:08 PM
"carrion refuse" and "burning youth" feel too cliche i enjoyed the last one the most but "o'er" feels clumsy when read aloud i thought "FL" was an interesting rhyme but threw me off a little as well
regarding some deleted poem...	1-Feb-04/1:21 PM
you see, for this sort of personal attack on another poet to work you both have to be famous and acknowledged by the literary community, but you aren't so shut it
regarding some deleted poem...	1-Feb-04/1:28 PM
in my opinion, this is much better than your other submissions a few gentle suggestions: i would change the title to something like "worms" it gives a clue to the reader what you're talking about and you already use "Helminthophobia" extensively through out the poem and don't need to waste it on the title (personally i am a fan of the title adding extra meaning and content to the poem) second, while this is free verse, you should still stick to your own rythmn and structure so i would move the "NO!" up to the line previous and edit the cats stanza to be 4 lines like all the other stanzas i suggest deleting the last line in that stanza entirely and change the 4th line to "i go weak if i see one around" this also helps because the peep line is awkward to say anyway, very good effort here you seem to be improving :)
regarding some deleted poem...	1-Feb-04/1:33 PM
great originality well constructed and i agree with the sentiment but sorry, i got in :P
Re: La Belle Epoque by andrewjthomas	1-Feb-04/1:38 PM
ok, this has several problems and i'd love some good editing comments
regarding some deleted poem...	1-Feb-04/8:06 PM
amen
regarding some deleted poem...	2-Feb-04/1:07 PM
reads like a bad harlequin
Re: Friends come and go, but sisters lasts forever. by devina	2-Feb-04/1:10 PM
you need to read up on verb/subject agreement and your sisters aren't things in your life they are people in your life
Re: The world today. by devina	4-Feb-04/3:46 PM
INZANE IN THE MEMBRANE! tell me, how does it feel to suck this much?
Re: A Panglossian Farmer by richa	5-Feb-04/9:48 AM
nice sketch
Re: To A Streetchild by Sam	5-Feb-04/9:52 AM
very descriptive, a little cliche in a few spots (but not too bad) i think you might do better to focus on your reaction to the child, rather than simply describing the child if we read the hint of your pain and sadness because you empathize with the child's pain and sadness it just seems like it would impact more, you know?
Re: Soft Beak; Hard lotion by Bachus	5-Feb-04/9:56 AM
"My cleverness has turned into a very dill pickle" - confessional in a good way very "beat" could use some tightening in a few places but enjoyable overall
Re: Emily Mae by horus8	5-Feb-04/11:41 AM
what goad said still, nice job over all
regarding some deleted poem...	9-Feb-04/4:45 PM
maybe i'm just too in-the-gutter, but "a one-eyed king" feels a bit too phallic otherwise, i like the yin/yang of it and i really dig the word play (sorted/sordid)
regarding some deleted poem...	23-Aug-04/12:20 PM
nice to know time away from here doesn't change much... you still suck