| Re: The Weaver's Curse by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. |
11-Sep-02/1:28 PM |
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Is it supposed to be "loon?" Oh yeah it is loom cos it's titled the weaver's curse. Well I don't get it.
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| Re: Cat and Door by gothwalk |
11-Sep-02/1:26 PM |
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| Re: Fallen Leaves From a Tree by kristenk69lover |
11-Sep-02/1:26 PM |
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You have a nice thing going but like some other commenter said you tend to give your point away so the poem kinda looses it's essence. Try writing(which you are doing a great job of) and then reading through to see which lines you can omit. Poetry(my definition) is the medium through which a person(poet) describes feelings without being too definitive. Good luck. :-)
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| Re: Inner Peace by god |
11-Sep-02/1:17 PM |
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| Re: R'lyeh by razorgrin |
11-Sep-02/1:15 PM |
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| Re: #9 by mikejedw |
11-Sep-02/1:15 PM |
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| Re: Dick Cheney, Man of Tomorrow by bondjedi |
11-Sep-02/1:14 PM |
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| Re: Loneliness by Cha no Onna |
11-Sep-02/1:12 PM |
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| Re: What is Black by ivoryangie1 |
11-Sep-02/1:12 PM |
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add 'nd' to the 'a' between big and strong. Keep being proud.
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| Re: The MV-perience by Modulo |
11-Sep-02/1:10 PM |
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| Re: Ever Felt by nightii |
11-Sep-02/1:09 PM |
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| Re: want it by sontei |
11-Sep-02/1:08 PM |
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For some reason I find this both funny and sweet.
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| Re: At my grandmother's aging sight by vulcan |
10-Sep-02/9:02 AM |
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I don't exactly get the last 3 lines of S5, but otherwise this is very good. You seem to be expressing a slight fear of growing old.
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| Re: Birth by nentwined |
10-Sep-02/8:58 AM |
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Oh my God you have 74 "10"s. Wow. The imagery creates a very nice love scene. This is good.
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| Re: My cousin's baby sitter. by Bachus |
10-Sep-02/8:55 AM |
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Bachus you naughty boy! The last stanza gives me the impression that sunshine meant nothing to you.
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| Re: Putney at Low Tide by Christof |
10-Sep-02/8:53 AM |
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| Re: Putney at Low Tide by Christof |
10-Sep-02/8:52 AM |
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I like your imagery Christof. Like Limness I would say you should put a full stop at the end of Stanza3 but then again, it's your work and your message.
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| Re: A Musical Dream by vulcan |
6-Sep-02/8:09 AM |
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| Re: Reflected, Dreamed by Frass |
3-Sep-02/2:35 PM |
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| Re: I Hate You by mytenderrage |
3-Sep-02/9:23 AM |
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Jeez guys all she said was "I hate you". I gave this poem an 8 cuz although it seems very naive and naivete is blasted horridly on this site, everyone at some points in their lives experience the feeling. I guess it seems naive because the poem though expressing hate doesn't sound forceful. good luck.
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