want it

Member since 2002 · Posted 18 Aug 2002 · 6 comments

i want you in the bushes i want you in the grass i want you in the brambles that really cut my arse i want you with your clothes on i want you in the nude i want you wearing leather and talking really rude i want you in a limo i want you on a bus i want you in a taxi if one turns up for us i want you as my lover i want you as my wife i want you in my bedroom for every day of my life

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8 votes so far. Yours would make 9.8 votes so far

6 comments

[7] nentwined 11-Sep-02/1:05 PM Reply

"for every day of my life" doesn't scan right. and what's up with rhyming "arse" with "ass"?

[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. › nentwined 11-Sep-02/6:43 PM Reply

"Arse" rhymes with "grass" in sunny England. AAAAHsssssssssss. GRAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaassssss.

[7] Amelia 11-Sep-02/1:08 PM Reply

For some reason I find this both funny and sweet.

[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 11-Sep-02/6:44 PM Reply

Expand upon the second stanza. I am intrigued as to how the suggestion of nudity pans out!

[n/a] <~> › -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 11-Sep-02/6:49 PM Reply

nudity=sin

[8] Nicholas Monson 4-Dec-02/5:17 AM Reply

The last line has seven beats. Should be six. Spoils it. What about - To fuck you all my life ? Love may be more delicate. Choice depends on the sensibilities of the recipient. I really like this poem but I want to tinker with other bits too. For instance delete "with your clothes" on (it is too weak) Substitute "with suspenders" or "in bikinis".