poemranker ::Replying

ReplyTo a comment on want it by sontei.

Nicholas Monson4 Dec 2002

The last line has seven beats. Should be six. Spoils it. What about - To fuck you all my life ? Love may be more delicate. Choice depends on the sensibilities of the recipient. I really like this poem but I want to tinker with other bits too. For instance delete "with your clothes" on (it is too weak) Substitute "with suspenders" or "in bikinis".