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Please President Bush, Save Me From My Adolescence (Free verse) by mogwai Out on the road,
I can see my house from here,
I can hear the planes,
I can see the missile flash in the midnight sky,
the air strike a perfumed punch,
my house is gone,
I toast mashmallows over the ruins,
thank you President Bush,
for saving me from myself.
The guidance counsellor with the most weapons
wins.
Up the ladder:
want it
Down the ladder:
Would I?
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.875
Posted: September 17, 2002 7:21 AM PDT; Last modified: September 17, 2002 7:21 AM PDTWeighted score: 5.235324 Overall Rank: 4186 Comments:
[7]
deleted user @ 167.206.181.179
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17-Sep-02/7:31 AM
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Reply
interesting, and i like it, but the POV is a little confusing. are you writing from an Afghani perspective? that would explain some of it, but then the style is off (as is the part about "my house," since they all live in caves. sorry, i can't help myself sometimes.) the last line is great, but, dammit, how does it mesh with the rest. it's too early to think.
[n/a]
mogwai @ 210.50.228.6
> deleted user
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17-Sep-02/7:44 AM
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Reply
Thanks b for comments, they were very helpful, when it was written i was actually thinking of the perspective of American teenagers and how their visions of morality are affected by the leadership of a man like President Bush. The 'house' is a metaphor for their innocence if you like, without wanting to sound too trite. The last line is referring to the fact that history is written by those most powerful.
[7]
deleted user @ 167.206.181.179
> mogwai
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17-Sep-02/8:39 AM
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Reply
now i need clarity on the clarifier: what is the angle, then, in terms of the morality of the teenagers under the leadership "of a man like President Bush"? will they be negatively affected by our retaliation?
[n/a]
Frass @ 66.160.116.193
> deleted user
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17-Sep-02/1:46 PM
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Reply
Mgw, I love socio-political commentary; keep it coming. Check out Dylan Thomas' 'The Hand That Signed The Paper.'
[n/a]
mogwai @ 203.206.85.176
> Frass
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17-Sep-02/6:15 PM
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Thanks for the tip Frass on D Thomas, i will check it out.
[n/a]
mogwai @ 203.206.85.176
> deleted user
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17-Sep-02/6:14 PM
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Reply
For me Balthazar it's not so much a question of negative or positive affects, i'm just commenting on the fact that an affect will be made upon impressionable minds in this climate of aggression, both against and by the United States.
Your sarcasm is great. Right on the mark with this one.
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