now that was worth the build up. d.a. you have summed the sum. ur still an asl but with a monumental point.beak on bachus.beak on

I wrote this poem because that's how I felt at the time. If it's not original, who the fuck cares. That is how I feel about the situation at the time, and because that every fucking one already wrote poems about that, it is not true, real feelings? I wrote that awhile ago, I am over this person already, but I still posted it because I wanted to. So what if you hated it, it does not mean that I'm a whore (you do not even know me) because of this one poem. If I started writing poetry that you liked, then I would suddenly be "cool" for you, huh? If you didn't like it, don't bitch about it to me, just forget it and don't read it again. And how can feelings be "awful"? All feelings, even hatred or envy or whatever the fuck, are real, even if people try to hide it or forget it or whatnot. I don't understand your logic of this subject. Because I wrote about how I was all mopey and shit after I got dumped (like everyone else, apparently), I am a fucking whore and I have awful, unreal emotions, and that I'm a fucking moron. Do you go around telling everyone else who write about this subject matter that they should go fuck themselves? You probably have a lot of people to write to, huh? Have a wonderful day.

i think what DA is saying is that you can't write worth shit, which is true. not only is the poem a collection of hackneyed angst, but it's badly written. as for your "feelings" argument, i'm sure you think that your emotions are valid (awww...you think you matter!)the fact remains that we don't care that someone dumped your whiny ass and you're bitching and moaning about it.

Actually. he does (d.a). bored w/real job probably got left a little money by an underappreciated genius uncle who liked to squander cash in turkish opium dens. But good lord sweetheart develop an area of your mind for ridiculous feedback. no BFD right. you'll be okay. try a cucumber avacado face mask & oatmeal. touch of lemon juice for the hair, go outside get some sun..and vualla. relish. s

i had to go back and read this again..i'm sorry, but do i know you???

Hmmm.. I see four of your poems are on Worst Poems list right now. And I should listen to you because...? Also, you think my poems are shit and that it deserves a 0, fine. It's YOUR opinion, but it doesnt not mean everyone in this fucking world will think the same thing. And who decides who's "special" or whatever? So you're special, huh? Why are you special? Who makse you or anyone special?

FUCKITY FUCK. The reply I have just written was lost by a powercut in a lightning storm. Hey, I might write a poem about lightning, because I don't think other people have experienced it, or if they have, that they have appreciated it in the way that I do, because I'm special. OK, let's get serious, twatsack. You have experienced certain emotions, which are undoubtedly 'real', but not 'true', since EMOTIONS ARE NOT TRUTH-BEARERS, and can therefore be neither true nor false. Writing about those emotions may be a therapeutically worthwhile activity. It is only a poetically worthwhile activity if one or more of the following statements are true:
a) the emotions you have experienced are unique
b) you are special
c) you have written in an interesting, novel or otherwise wond'rous fashion
I have said this already, but you seem to be slow on the pick-up: NONE OF THESE ARE TRUE. So the fact that you have written about real emotions does not justify your releasing your writings into the public domain.
Now let's address some of the issues you have raised. Who cares what people think about your poem? Well obviously you do, since you have submitted it to a web site where it is periodically displayed to visitors for them to read it, score it and comment on it. You appear to be having difficulty grasping the ramifications of this action. If you post shitty poetry to a poetry ranking site, people will, by the medium of clicking '0' and typing rude words, TELL YOU IT IS SHIT. You posted it because you wanted to. That proves nothing, except that a purely private, therapeutic poem was posted against your wishes by someone else, or perhaps by yourself during a period of temporary insanity. I do not 'bitch' to everyone who writes about emotions: partly because a few have managed to do it in an interesting way, but mostly because I only bitch to those who, by their own actions, present their shitty work to me, like you have done. You can't 'be "cool" for [me]' simply by writing poetry that I like. You'd have to stop being the self-centred fucking moron you obviously are, but that's not going to happen. And you are a fucking whore.

he controls the flow of beak in and out of this country. but that is neither here nor there. beak is everywhere. 'hoof' on the other hand is great for smegma burns, if you want formula press F8 then duck. hold on. it gets bumpy???

A LIGHTNING STORM?? DA are you MARTIN LUTHER or SOMETHING?? Now RAVEN, I would like to make it very clear that I DO NOT WANT YOUR "PUNANI". Don't worry about that. Nobody wants it, even if you gave it away. Now I personally think this poem is mediocre. It is certainly not deserving of 10s, but that's opinion. I was reading some Dylan Thomas last night, and I'd be a damn fool not to tell you to do the same. The major fault of this poem and all of its ilk is that it is meaningless by virtue of its medium. TCP/IP has a tendency to destroy any significance to the words you're saying. TCP/IP, even in the ARPANET days made it painfully clear how much utter bullshit floats above us like those plant islands on venus in that episode of cowboy bebop. So in short, I suggest you TOSS OUT THE DEAD CAN DANCE CDs, START LISTENING TO JOY DIVISION AND GET SOME LIKEMINDED PEOPLE TOGETHER WITH SOME WHISKEY AND WRITE ABOUT THAT. Remember, WRITE what you KNOW, but do not SUBMIT IT if it IS UTTERLY LACKING IN CRAFT OR NOVELTY or ANYTHING ELSE WHICH I'D CARE TO READ. If you need some help I'm sure DA would be happy to critique your work before you hit submit.

P.S.: DarkAngel hates you./ DarkAngel hates you./ DarkAngel hates you because he loves you. Furthermore, DA AND RAVEN SITTIN' IN A TREE, KAY EYE ESS ESS EYE EN GEE. FIRST COMES LOVE, THEN COMES MARRAIGE, THEN COMES A DEMENTED BABY WITH BAD TEETH AND BAD LUCK WITH THE OPPOSITE GENDER, NOT TO MENTION A PROPENSITY FOR THE ARGUING ARTS IN THE BABY CARRAIGE.

to dark angel:Yea hi i just read your comments on raven 18's poem,and WHAT THE HELL IS UP YOUR ASS!?!?!I mean sure she wrote the same ole thing but you dont have to call her a fucking whore,just because her boyfriend dumped her.Thats just fucked up,your one big prick did you know that,i mean you are one fucked up person.I think that you are only hiding your insecurities by bitching at people about their insecurities and their flaws to make you seem better than them.You are a peice of shit that we have to listen to.And dont you dare bitch at me cuz you know what im just not in the mood for anyones shit.
to raven 18:dont listen to his shit,im on your side :)

Blugirl - Thank you :)

your welcome :)

Blugirl, though you have not as of yet posted any of your doubtlessly brilliant works, thus far you seem as vacant as raven18.you should be together, possibly on a faraway island or space, where no one can hear you mope.

raven18, if you're really so stupid that you haven't worked out that AIDS in a Van et all are SUPPOSED to be crap, then you really are really fucking stupid. They're designed to annoy wankstains like you who, when they see a poem that doesn't prostrate itself before the beauty and sorrow of existence, start saying how lame it is. Well duh. You cretin. Did you think you were striking a telling blow by saying that the obviously crap poems in the worst section are crap? So far you've made this many non-obvious points: 0. On the other hand, you insist on defending your felchstraw of a poem, which has a far, far higher ratio of shitness:intention of shitness than any of my poems. As for the comment by that other bluewhatsit freak, well, someone who happens to be as gormless as you has made the same incredibly-difficult-to-work-out observation about the poems that I have in the worst section. Saying 'thank you' doesn't make your poem good. It, and all of your others, are all steaming loads of trite, obvious, ignorant, sappy, tedious bullshite.

so, you got dumped. you wrote this to help process the pain. very constructive. maybe your therapist would have been a more receptive audience than the crowd here?
last time i checked, poetry utilized metaphor to express ideas.
maybe he dumped you because you have no imagination???

and what makes you so fucking special?

and to whom in particular do you address this sad little retort?

stain upon my screen / her emotions manifest, / scathe my jellied orbs.

I thought it profound and insightful. I am shamed into reconsidering my own body of work, most of which involves nature and my sweaty scrotum. TEN!!

I don't think the only issue at hand here is whether the poem is good or not. It is not impossible to state your opinion without being rude about it, and Dark Angel & Co. certainly did not accomplish that.

Erishkigal/Raven-haired/Thy seduction haunts the castle in erotic despair. Perhaps you and raven18 have a dirty secret?

Your inability to produce worthwhile verse, or to make any insightful observation, is matched only by your inability to correctly write my name. It is spelled with two hyphens, two equals signs and an underscore. I went to the trouble of legally changing it, so you might as well get it right.

And I am sure it took a lot of brain cells to even think of a way to spell your user name. Are we supposed to applaude such hard thinking it took for you to type it that way? If so, well, I'll be damned, you get a standing ovation. You should be praised for your stupidity.

This reminded me of the time I was in my 67 camaro, and I went to light my cigarette with the car lighter, but lo and behold. No cigarette their. I am now deformed not only by this piece of writing, but also by that mindless incident. {Legend} At least the poet with the symbols in his name has work out there to be critiqued (proper spelling) if quoting. Count how many times the bird chick uses the word "i" multiply that by how many "you"s, then divide by number of characters present: Answer is on page 57 of William Burroughs inciteful legendary work "The Job". Something that I believe none of you "poets" seem to have. Happy Hunting Hecate

Yeah Legend! Your just jealous that your stupid name isn't as L33T as mine! I am a Magical Dark Prince swooping o'er the Mystical Land of Shadows.

Ok, first of all, -=Dark_Angel=- isn't really a very L33T name. Second, what do you think you're accomplishing by telling her that her poem is crap? You're just making someone feel bad. Why don't you be mature and try to help her instead of just telling her that her writings not worth shit and she's a whore? From what I've read of these comments, you seem like a big prick to me. That's an understandable conclusion. Her poem doesn't make her seem like a whore. Why don't you grow up?

Outstanding. You figured me out. Jealous of someone who thrives off making other people miserable.

i think shes jealous because you have the same name as a girl on a TV show,i would be too

whats L33T?
hey JJ, guess who this is? =D

Silence, peasants! Did I say you could speak? No! Hold your tongues at once! I, -=Dark_Angel=- am the best poete on this site, and anyone who says I am not is gaye. Legend is gaye regardless of what he says. Why do you think my name is not L33T? Can't you see it has lots of ASCII characters splattered all over it? Are you stupid, man? Clearly you don't know what L33T is. As for 'being mature', which of the following is more mature? Blindly imitating your parents and everyone else in a desperate bid to please and be popular, or not doing that? Do you think it is more mature to please your parents or to displease them by saying 'AIDS can be fun!!!' in their presence? I think it is more mature to do the latter. For how many three-year-olds would do that? None. And how many three-year-olds would do the former? Many. And how mature are three year olds? Not mature. They are in fact immature. As are you, Sir.

I have returned from the brewhouse.
Who requires my hwords nay pearls of wisdome.

Raven, sweetheart, its vanessa. all these dikwads who are critiquing your poem don't know you or your situation, so don't give a rats ass about their opinions. i mean, if they went to that high school that you thankfully got away from, they would be a little more humble. so fuck them. thats what i say. :) . oh yea, and about the poem, im sure i've written something just like it before too. and its probably posted on my webpage somewhere. but if you didn't want to hear the inane comments of a moronic peanut gallery (dark angel), then why did you post it here? i suggest an aromatherapy bath and to get back to austin where you belong :). next time im in town ill let you know and we can go get coffee somewhere.

peace.

highschool? coffee? austin?????? here quick cure for both the raven and the chalupa. tequila, kurt vonnegut. descriptive life experiences. name a character! fuck anything, because this piece is beyond aroma therapy..i ..mean it's fine for an envelope band a stamp. mail it to the cockstretcher if you like. it would work if you told the reader interesting tid bits to keep ,them going, give them a reason to love you and hate him. this is not your journal it is a forum, so fight with wit or suck moose tit(you'll be fine water off the back of the swallow, duck, pigeon,whatever) use detail, power words an unusual stucture a metaphor a simile an oxymoron.ahhhh.drink.smoke. eat with the pigs. learn how they speak then show them your hoof and they will listen, but you must speak pig. vine.swine toast. ufo

Don't listen to a damn thing these assholes say. This poem is beautiful because you wrote it to express something inside of you. The best quality a poem can have is honesty, and yours is seeping with it. A poem doesn't have to have a bunch of metaphors or long complicated words to be good. A poem has to send out a message. Good work, and much love. Take care. Besides, I read Dark Angels poetry, AND THEY ALL SUCK!!!

It's really "sad" the way so many people on this site resort to saying "-=Dark_Angel=-'s poetry is crap, therefore his criticisms stem solely from jealousy of your wonderful talent." Can't you see I'm NOT TRYING TO WRITE THE SAME SORT OF POETRY AS RAVEN18? Why would I be jealous of someone who didn't have anything I wanted? I criticise raven18's poetry because it's trying to be meaningful (or whatever), and it fails. Miserably. You may criticise my poetry, but you don't mention in what respect it is lacking. You just vaguely insinuate that it's substandard, in a smug, knowing sort of way. Which is what I would expect from most people, since the default reaction on reading a poeme about something that is "childish" or "insensitive" or "crude" is to tell themselves that it's awful, because their brains would explode if they abandoned for one moment their constant desperate attitude of trying to have the same opinions as everyone else. What standards, exactly, does -=Dark_Angel=-'s poetry not meet? (And don't say something obvious and crap like "maturity, for one. Sensitivity, for another". Those are bullshit standards.)

hey d.a...you ever think that maybe you're so far right that your left. i love your shit. sometimes. it is truly cutting edge to say the least..but..fuckin ey..even a child knows when to quit kicking a dead cat..i mean ..this chick is probably swinging from the rafters right now cuz you force people to change their awareness.. and deal with you, but it's not always about that..some of these kids need a subtle more gentle push..not the "sunset flip"(patented move of don morraco.wwf 1983..anyway you're right to the greater portion of the triple beam. do some "good angel" deeds for a change.......naw..fuck you! smile you're cute and tight when you go after a point p.s. i would like to dedicate the plains of africa (1-6) to you(recent submissions) and your pet monkey=give up you'll never teach him to read! but god, it's fun to watch ya try..

From what I have read so far, -=Dark_Angel=- is the best fucking thing that has ever happened to this board. And yeah, he's totally got you beat on the "l33t" name thing, as I believe he was being sarcastic and making fun of his own name. "Felchstraw"... genius!

And his point, if it hasn't been driven in before, is the following:

This poem is not good. Period. It is not talented poetry. It is trite. These comments are not questionable: they're not just opinions, they're pretty much given as truths. This is a public web page titled "Poemranker". We rank poems at Poemranker. Ranking involves judgement, henceforth it is our duty to judge your poetry. We have judged it, and found it to be not good poetry.

His second, and seperate point, is that he's tired of people thinking that this isn't crap, because it is. And, consequently, he's tired of this page being flooded with crappy poetry. It's understandable to get tired of crap every once and a while. Are you tired of country music? Or the Backstreet Boys? If so, you can relate to how -=Dark_Angel=- is feeling. He feels like ranting and insulting people, so that's what he did. So show him a bit of compassion, people! Sweet Jesus. Try to be nice sometimes, and MAYBE he'd be nicer to you. Do onto others as you'd have them do unto you, or something like that.

What are you? writing his speeches now too. fucking window dressers. your fucking generation wouldn't know a #2 penciln if you...*poof* scrotum gas. needle the hepburn. i need a tie off.L33 names are endorphins. you should all be ashamed of your subservient plebian propaganda you fucking Gad-Flys. fucking make me finger bang myself with the mail & key holder. vermin.dopplegangers.LEMMINGS!!!!!&

I guess I just sympathyzed, and thought his fingers could use a rest.

Oh, I forgot to add my own comment. If these feelings (of being "cold and dead") were so "real", how did you get over them in "a little while"?

Agemo--nice? Did you even read D.A.'s first comment?

here are some excerpts if anyone needs to be reminded:

"What on EARTH is wrong with you, you fucking idiot? Do you think this is original in any way? Do you think anyone gives a flying fuck?"

"It says NOTHING except that you're a fucking moron. You're probably the most ugly son of a fuck the world has ever seen."

"But how could anyone love such a pathetic cretin? I couldn't. Nobody could. No-one. You'll end up married to some mousy loser just like you only to avoid being lonely when you retire. Of course, you could equally well be female, in which case just fucking get used to the fact that men want your punani, not your stupid opinions..."

"You worthless pool of semen. You butt-kissing little whore. Never attempt to share your feelings again if they're this awful."

Who should we be nice to again? Dark Angel was obviously just being a dickhead! How simple is it to say a poem is bad? It's fucking simple. He/She didn't need to add in all of that other irrelevant, insulting bullshit.

But it's ever so much fun to insult things! Besides, if you look at Agemo-Z's user info, it is part of his dual purpose to do so. Dare not stand in the way of his unholy mission!

Jeez guys all she said was "I hate you". I gave this poem an 8 cuz although it seems very naive and naivete is blasted horridly on this site, everyone at some points in their lives experience the feeling. I guess it seems naive because the poem though expressing hate doesn't sound forceful. good luck.