| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
Fallen Leaves From a Tree (Other) by kristenk69lover Have you ever noticed
When leaves fall from a tree
With each wind
They blow in opposite directions?
Stopping long enough
To feel the earths warmth
But leaving again
When the wind's confrontation arrives.
It's the same with life.
A heart blown away...
A soul that wants to linger,
Enjoying life's warmth
but is unable to do so...
because of life's many twists.
You become weaker with each breath,
Until you are swept away again;
Not staying long enough
To fully realize the beauty that surrounds you.
As when babies cry and are comforted
With a mother's touch,
For a while, they are content
Until hunger sets in again.
This is like love...
Like so many others
We are content,
Longing to wallow in each other's hearts,
Until the winds blow
And the weak can't hold on...
It brushes you away...
Afraid of grasping
Afraid of hurting
Afraid to look life in its eyes
Because it is unlike anything you've ever conquered
Fear of rejection
Fear of loss
Fear of being in love...
So, we're like the leaves
Blowing in the wind,
Stopping long enough
To get a real taste of love.
But too afraid
To embed ourselves in nature's treasures,
We blow away with the wind once again...
Praying the storm stops,
And allows you to rest...
Knowing you could be lost forever...
Up the ladder:
American Haiku
Down the ladder:
DID YOU EVER?
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 3.4285715
Posted: August 29, 2002 5:38 PM PDT; Last modified: August 29, 2002 5:38 PM PDTWeighted score: 4.577378 Overall Rank: 12589 Comments:
[n/a]
Bachus @ 24.126.113.154
|
29-Aug-02/9:03 PM
|
Reply
another fine example of why michael jackson looks the way he does and touches little boys on their penises. their nice soft penises, remind me of a flying leaf that lands right 'pon my lap...i guess that 69 in your name makes you an expert on leaf navagations and love huh.....better leaf the poetry to those who write and dont BLOW! you blow....lol! and deep down inside too.....you fail..misserably. good luck.. have fun here...stay as long as you want, and write more.....please..i need the extra targets.i
I feel you honey.... I fell the loss...the leave...fall..ing...i am..afraid.. of ;;; falling--- asleep000before... i fin--ish ..the first ..line. Absoulte brillance. More, please, more....
Kristen - you have potential, keep working on it. And if you want some true critique and help, there are some wonderful poets that can help you on this site. Just ask them for help. Specifically, zzinnia and god's wife can be very helpful to struggling poets in the mist.
venus don't be nieve! this is the dark one dressed in head gear...trust me...D.A! DAMNIT get out of the tart immediately...i rebuke you!!!!!o
I like your central image and I think if you concentrated on that without resorting to explanation e.g. 'It's the same with life' this would eb much better. Trust your images to be themselves, you shouldn't have to spell it out. You could have said the same with far more impact in a third of the lines. The ending has a gracefulness that I like though.
Potential schmotential. Is this poetentialranker? Or poemeranker?
DA - I thought it was poemwanker, but what does that have to do with anything anyway? I rank, I comment, I do my little duty.
hut the fuck up all you poems are onthe worst poem page.
you poems suck as well.
This is a fine example of why we need more violent crime. I mean this is just crap. It's like hallmark got drunk and weepy. read more, kid. that boy in your class is too cool for you anyway.
A ha haha. A ha ha hahahahahaha. Oh, kristenk69lover, does the moon not rise with a sad face? Do birds not fly in olde disgrace? Of course not. I suggest you take THAT into consideration the next you dare to comment on my poemes.
You have a nice thing going but like some other commenter said you tend to give your point away so the poem kinda looses it's essence. Try writing(which you are doing a great job of) and then reading through to see which lines you can omit. Poetry(my definition) is the medium through which a person(poet) describes feelings without being too definitive. Good luck. :-)
113 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
