| Re: The Kansas City Chiefs suck by Jeremi B. Handrinos |
7-Mar-03/7:38 AM |
First haiku- 8.5
second - 4.5
average- 6.
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| Re: Revelation ( 666 ) by Mr Pig |
7-Mar-03/7:36 AM |
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| Re: Crucifixion by Mr Pig |
7-Mar-03/7:33 AM |
4
7
6
nice thought, though.
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| Re: Greek Tragedy#1 by Mr Pig |
26-Feb-03/5:24 AM |
I like it.
as for present conversation here, I will say nothing ten times.
there.
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| Re: a comment on A Lost Friend by Ray |
25-Feb-03/7:19 AM |
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as much as I'd like to blame them on brain injury, they were more of an attempt to repeat the glory of the first. The 2nd and 3rd "less than a sentence" were extremely difficult to settle on, whereas the 1st was a moment of purity. I felt like an 80's one hit wonder band trying to recapture the glory with the other two. my apologies. Also, I apologize for lying about having an accident. It was a bullshit excuse for bad typing skills.
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| Re: (untitled) by Ray |
24-Feb-03/2:41 PM |
Hope it wasn't something I said. :)
Nice use of form, a bit heavy on the assonance--beware of sounding too sing-songy. 6.
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| Re: A Lost Friend by Ray |
24-Feb-03/2:38 PM |
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Don't be discouraged. Keep trying. We are all trying.
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| Re: a comment on A Lost Friend by Ray |
24-Feb-03/2:30 PM |
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Sorry I don't type so well since my accident. I'm still getting used to using one elbow and one foot on the modified keyboard. The Doctors think I am coming along nicely.
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| Re: a comment on A Lost Friend by Ray |
24-Feb-03/12:31 PM |
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I meant "theraputic writing".
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| Re: A Lost Friend by Ray |
24-Feb-03/12:28 PM |
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YAWN. bo-ring. theraputing wring is a nice thing to do, but too often folks think it is good for sharing. keep these to yourself. write about something new.
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| Re: "loveless life" by Jaketiger |
24-Feb-03/12:25 PM |
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plagued by typos (such as "traped" and "tstay"), it makes it tough to read and detracts from any poetic quality. cut the redundancies and tighten up your language. try some images--similes, metaphors--fresh ones not "daggar of fate" trite stuff. push yourself. don't be afraid.
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| Re: "Crying" by Jaketiger |
24-Feb-03/12:22 PM |
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blah blah blah I'm sad. try to use a metaphor or two--some fresh language. you almost did it with the needle in the heart, but instead you missed the target, punctured a lung and are making this gurgling sound. try some concise images.
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| Re: a comment on Suicidal thoughts by CrAzYlAdY Surukain |
24-Feb-03/8:39 AM |
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What a twisted thing to say. I hope you didn't mean that. It goes against the laws of nature.
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| Re: Dear Mr. Poetry, could you hold my purse? <how does babbit do it> by horus8 |
21-Jan-03/7:36 AM |
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except for the shouting, i like this. I think the "!"s could go.
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| Re: Untitled by ==Doylum |
17-Jan-03/11:45 AM |
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nork - the capital nof new jersey, right?
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| Re: OK, I apologize - it's steaming shite and no mistake, but it was the best I could come up with on the spur of the moment. I'm off to slit my wrists now, since writer's block has sent me spiralling into the depths of the deepest depression in human history... by Yardbird |
17-Jan-03/11:38 AM |
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I hope you don't hurt yourself. It isn't the right thing to do. I like this limerick lots and lots and I hope you stick around and write more.
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| Re: anonymous guy by sooz |
17-Jan-03/11:34 AM |
as i knotted his noose
(simply becasue he couldn't scream and dangle) otherwise, I like this! a valiant job. 9.
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| Re: gerbil by betty swallox |
17-Jan-03/11:33 AM |
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| Re: late night activities by sooz |
17-Jan-03/11:31 AM |
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again, line lengths disrupt what the rhythm should be.
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| Re: Perversions 3: Payback by razorgrin |
17-Jan-03/11:30 AM |
get rid of "who" in the first one,
and th elast one, while the premise is good, doesn't seem to flow as well as the others. overall, an 8
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