poemranker ::"Crying" by Jaketiger

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Free verse № 41411

"Crying"

Member since 2003 · Posted 23 Feb 2003 · 6 comments

Im feeling tired, and lost, Dont know what im do, cause i feel so hurt, The feeling can't be described in just plain words, It like a needle in my heart, i can't help the crying, That why im sitting here trying to let it out, But im afraid that if i do of what youll say. And every day, I feel more distant than i was , and i start cry, My eyes they cant see, and i cant think, but i keep trying, Love is such a painfull thing, for me, Not knowing if you still love me, for me is worse then death. Or is our love thats dieing, Cause if it is i would be lieing , just to stop crying, I love you some much that i feel like dieing, Just to end the pain of this distance between us, But i hold on to tomorrow, for hope that this sorrow, will soon end, but i know that ill love you untill the end.

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mean 5.33 weighted 5.09 rank 6203 views 112 View voting details →

6 votes so far. Yours would make 7.6 votes so far

6 comments

[8] Ray 24-Feb-03/9:28 AM Reply
I like this one but i like the other one more..
[2] Robert K Foster 24-Feb-03/12:22 PM Reply
blah blah blah I'm sad. try to use a metaphor or two--some fresh language. you almost did it with the needle in the heart, but instead you missed the target, punctured a lung and are making this gurgling sound. try some concise images.
[2] god'swife 24-Feb-03/9:37 PM Reply
all feeling and bad spelling. Were's the art?
[10] CrAzYlAdY Surukain › god'swife 25-Feb-03/7:28 PM Reply
......wait then wtf is poetry about then!? I mean who cares about the spelling as long as u understand wutever it is he's putting, besides im not as judgemental as sum ppl r, so wut do I know? -.- *gets hit by a car while playing in traffic*
[n/a] razorgrin › CrAzYlAdY Surukain 26-Feb-03/9:55 AM Reply
The use of the language is also important. If you make your language look as if you dictated your work to a retarded 3-year-old, it tends to detract from the overall image no matter how good it is. Yes I am judgemental. All humans/animal in general are, and by saying that you're not, you're simply being a clueless twit.
[10] CrAzYlAdY Surukain › razorgrin 26-Feb-03/2:15 PM Reply
.......READ! I said not AS judgemental meaning, i can be but i am not as serious, and i do agree with the use of language but i am no clueless twit.... y would u call me a pregnant goldfish neway? lol. Besides, Yes i do kinda agree, but yr last sentence was pretty much useless , now if u claim sumones work was dictated as tho it were for a 3 year old, u'd think that u would notice yr own mistake. !AS! Once again im not AS judgemental, I AM, but not as harsh. .....great, i really need to stop replying to these damn comments.....