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"loveless life" (Free verse) by Jaketiger
Its hard to keep traped what i feel inside, The troubles of today pain me so much , Makes me want to tstay with yesterday, Why should i go on, to mor days of sorrow, Just saying things will change just because its tomorrow, The pain shes caused me, It knows know end, Who will pull the knife of fate from my heart, The cruel dagger of fate has been pulled from my heart, But when will this wound stop its bleeding, the wound is so deep, For love is so cheep, I really thought I loved her, And that she really love me to, Such a fool i was to question her fate, I should have know from the start, that our hearts would be apart. BUT still i feel, The foreboding feeling that some day she may return my feelings, As if we will be togeather again, Perhaps not the same way onced hoped for, I just hope i can learn to live, A life with out love, Perhaps If i search for the love of anther, But no i dont think it can ever be done, A life with out love is the only way for the pain to be undone, In a life with out love you avoid most pains, Except for the afflictions being unloved attains.

Up the ladder: mirror
Down the ladder: On The First Night

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.2
Weighted score: 5.1430435
Overall Rank: 5361
Posted: February 23, 2003 10:04 PM PST; Last modified: February 23, 2003 10:04 PM PST
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Comments:
[10] Ray @ 207.177.68.9 | 24-Feb-03/9:20 AM | Reply
Hey Jake..like i told you b4 i love this poem soo much!!
[1] Robert K Foster @ 209.68.66.137 | 24-Feb-03/12:25 PM | Reply
plagued by typos (such as "traped" and "tstay"), it makes it tough to read and detracts from any poetic quality. cut the redundancies and tighten up your language. try some images--similes, metaphors--fresh ones not "daggar of fate" trite stuff. push yourself. don't be afraid.
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