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On The First Night (Free verse) by OneFingerAnswer Watching your eyes travel beneath thier lids,
Wondering what fantasies are in that endless journey,
I want to join you in your dream world as you have joined mine
The dreams in your head, the visions of your mind,
Whatever you can imagine of in your wonderland trips,
Would fail to better what I've found
I see my hopes, all my dreams,
Every falling star wish I ever made,
You granted me with your stumble into my life
Up the ladder:
"loveless life"
Down the ladder:
Agent Orange
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.2
Posted: February 24, 2003 1:58 AM PST; Last modified: February 24, 2003 1:58 AM PSTWeighted score: 5.1430435 Overall Rank: 5362 Comments:
[6]
hipster flare @ 209.68.66.137
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24-Feb-03/6:04 AM
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Reply
Nice, but seems to lack anything concrete or precise.
[n/a]
OneFingerAnswer @ 216.138.10.3
> hipster flare
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24-Feb-03/9:39 AM
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Although this was a spur of the moment piece and thus I think it fits to be more sentiment than concrete I'd be willing to take suggestions on ways to revise.
hmmmmmm well, i say 6
Fuck.. I like it.. its sweet.. and I like it -9
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