on TPBOD Joins a pack of wolves by Luzr
10 Jul 2003, 9:55 AM
oh I thought this was quite good
on Cannibalism by Enki
10 Jul 2003, 4:23 AM
yes I like hot spices with flesh and this haiku
on Omerta el prostitute by <{Baba^Yaga}>
10 Jul 2003, 4:21 AM
enjoyable to read, ambiguous yes but with certain bits to hang on to like 'boys ride by laughing on bikes'
on What I Remember by leviathan
10 Jul 2003, 4:09 AM
varied selection of words and I like your verse structure. However some of the imagery doesn't really lure me into the poem and I think more basic elements of language would help
on What I Remember by leviathan
10 Jul 2003, 4:09 AM
varied selection of words and I like your verse structure. However some of the imagery doesn't really lure me into the poem and I think more basic elements of language would help
on What I Remember by leviathan
10 Jul 2003, 4:09 AM
varied selection of words and I like your verse structure. However some of the imagery doesn't really lure me into the poem and I think more basic elements of language would help
on "last needle" by nolan
10 Jul 2003, 4:03 AM
try not to rhyme so loudly when addressing serious issues.
by the way I don't believe you to be addicted to anything. This is not focused enough
by the way I don't believe you to be addicted to anything. This is not focused enough
on in here (i lost a piece of my mind) by nolan
10 Jul 2003, 4:01 AM
the first verse I will break free to I will be free. Has potential to work but I think you need to use the same repetition in the other verses
on love sick by rymemaster
8 Jul 2003, 2:31 AM
living the life of the sick and insane? I'm not sure about that line
you told me your feeling/but you aint givin/ no reason for believin
(that is to say more insight needed)
you told me your feeling/but you aint givin/ no reason for believin
(that is to say more insight needed)
on On Leaving an Awful Pub Job by razorgrin
8 Jul 2003, 2:25 AM
first ones good, i'm sure the other ones been done before though
on Priceless Moment by thepinkbunnyofdoom
7 Jul 2003, 2:26 PM
a comment nice and succinct is the essence of poetry for me. This is not a haiku but never mind
on Things by MrsGretchen
7 Jul 2003, 2:24 PM
I like your half rhyme, things and screams. And I like the final two lines too
on Crowning Achievement by MrsGretchen
7 Jul 2003, 11:04 AM
you shouldn't veer from your rhyme schem as in verse 4 it is off putting.
quite vague really and not anchored to anything
the first verse sets the intention well and I like the half-rhyme years and scars though
quite vague really and not anchored to anything
the first verse sets the intention well and I like the half-rhyme years and scars though
on lucid building peace by nolan
6 Jul 2003, 4:40 AM
'the dead are unborn' well summed up
lots of things to make you think here
lots of things to make you think here
replying on Lycanthropes and L-dopamine by horus8
6 Jul 2003, 4:30 AM
No you misunderstand.
L-dopa was a drug that seemed to arrest the development of parkinsons disease.
However unbeknown to pharmacologists (quacks compared to real medics) the side effects were the overabundance of dopamine in the brain. Which caused many of those treated to develop schizophrenia.
My degree is in psychology, and this explanation is very weak. But I think you should get the gist
L-dopa was a drug that seemed to arrest the development of parkinsons disease.
However unbeknown to pharmacologists (quacks compared to real medics) the side effects were the overabundance of dopamine in the brain. Which caused many of those treated to develop schizophrenia.
My degree is in psychology, and this explanation is very weak. But I think you should get the gist