Re: TPBOD Joins a pack of wolves by Luzr	10-Jul-03/9:55 AM
oh I thought this was quite good
Re: The Eye by Enki	10-Jul-03/4:27 AM
I wouldn't bother with the rhyme. This poem pretends to be profound then rhymes dashing and gnashing. It just seems a bit daft
Re: Love by Enki	10-Jul-03/4:25 AM
I like haiku with a change of direction, all in 17 syllables. the rubber glove thing is a perversion right?
Re: Cannibalism by Enki	10-Jul-03/4:23 AM
yes I like hot spices with flesh and this haiku
Re: Omerta el prostitute by <{Baba^Yaga}>	10-Jul-03/4:21 AM
enjoyable to read, ambiguous yes but with certain bits to hang on to like 'boys ride by laughing on bikes'
Re: What I Remember by leviathan	10-Jul-03/4:09 AM
varied selection of words and I like your verse structure. However some of the imagery doesn't really lure me into the poem and I think more basic elements of language would help
Re: What I Remember by leviathan	10-Jul-03/4:09 AM
varied selection of words and I like your verse structure. However some of the imagery doesn't really lure me into the poem and I think more basic elements of language would help
Re: What I Remember by leviathan	10-Jul-03/4:09 AM
varied selection of words and I like your verse structure. However some of the imagery doesn't really lure me into the poem and I think more basic elements of language would help
Re: The Beach by leviathan	10-Jul-03/4:06 AM
a lot of nice idioms in here. And it reads well as a poem. the beach that used to be a throne is a bit naff though and takes away from the maturity of the overall
Re: "last needle" by nolan	10-Jul-03/4:03 AM
try not to rhyme so loudly when addressing serious issues. by the way I don't believe you to be addicted to anything. This is not focused enough
Re: in here (i lost a piece of my mind) by nolan	10-Jul-03/4:01 AM
the first verse I will break free to I will be free. Has potential to work but I think you need to use the same repetition in the other verses
Re: smile by nolan	10-Jul-03/3:59 AM
not a lot of insight here and the description relies on cliche. However I do feel a certain empathy with these feelings but that is more what I bring to the poem than you I think
Re: love sick by rymemaster	8-Jul-03/2:31 AM
living the life of the sick and insane? I'm not sure about that line you told me your feeling/but you aint givin/ no reason for believin (that is to say more insight needed)
Re: On Leaving an Awful Pub Job by razorgrin	8-Jul-03/2:25 AM
first ones good, i'm sure the other ones been done before though
Re: Priceless Moment by thepinkbunnyofdoom	7-Jul-03/2:26 PM
a comment nice and succinct is the essence of poetry for me. This is not a haiku but never mind
Re: Things by MrsGretchen	7-Jul-03/2:24 PM
I like your half rhyme, things and screams. And I like the final two lines too
Re: Crowning Achievement by MrsGretchen	7-Jul-03/11:04 AM
you shouldn't veer from your rhyme schem as in verse 4 it is off putting. quite vague really and not anchored to anything the first verse sets the intention well and I like the half-rhyme years and scars though
Re: blackhole by crwncka1	7-Jul-03/11:01 AM
I know you can't explain the trapped feeling. But please try this poem doesn't seem to speak. It is just a few sentences strung together
Re: lucid building peace by nolan	6-Jul-03/4:40 AM
'the dead are unborn' well summed up lots of things to make you think here
Re: a comment on Lycanthropes and L-dopamine by horus8	6-Jul-03/4:30 AM
No you misunderstand. L-dopa was a drug that seemed to arrest the development of parkinsons disease. However unbeknown to pharmacologists (quacks compared to real medics) the side effects were the overabundance of dopamine in the brain. Which caused many of those treated to develop schizophrenia. My degree is in psychology, and this explanation is very weak. But I think you should get the gist