Comments byricha, 981–1000 back, including replies. Only comments on poems

on beyond sences by calilegzzz 17 Jul 2003, 10:05 AM
pardon, where are you anyway

on Federales by Bachus 17 Jul 2003, 9:49 AM
like it, especially the first verse. I get searched less than I used to after I shaved my adolescent moustache.

set off an alarm today though, commandeered by some george michael alike security guard (must have been in it for the uniform) I had to laugh
on 1 by Crakyamuni 15 Jul 2003, 11:44 AM
works well as graffiti. Enigmatic in any given context
replying on Memoirs of a Monk - St. Screamer by SupremeDreamer 15 Jul 2003, 8:37 AM
not sure about the dreamer/screamer bit.

how about (insert) saint
a-postate
on Death In The Cherry Brook Nursing Home by scitz 15 Jul 2003, 7:22 AM
Sid isn't a bastard, bereft of innocence and idealism he has embraced pragmatism. This happens in old age.

oh yeh and poem is good too
replying on Memoirs of a Monk - St. Screamer by SupremeDreamer 15 Jul 2003, 5:08 AM
I think it is important to continue the image through the poem, then the poem makes sense before the meaning is grasped.

Bringing jesus in in the third verse seems to turn this poem upside down. I guess maybe more religeous image allusions like in the first two (the wine/broken tablet)
on The War and Dance of The Undertaker by OnTheOtherHand 15 Jul 2003, 3:47 AM
some nice lines 'pension for your chore' etc but rather a lot of plain narrative to tell the story. Much to commend though
on Memoirs of a Monk - St. Screamer by SupremeDreamer 15 Jul 2003, 3:44 AM
quite like the occult/religeous wordlplay. The end seems a bit obscure to me though

overall good
on thought & memory by Bill Z Bub 15 Jul 2003, 3:42 AM
nice fast flow and good word selection. I prefer verses 2 and three, the first uses surfaces that appear quite decadent
on Acoustic by zzinnia66 14 Jul 2003, 11:27 AM
I like these little packaged thoughts. It is probably easier to make a whole out of such a small verse. But nevertheless you have done it perfectly
on A Brand New Eye by EAger to Offend 14 Jul 2003, 9:00 AM
third verse is the best, a pleasant read
on New Forms by Rodavlas 14 Jul 2003, 8:58 AM
yes nice little rhythm running through this

I'd get rid of hate....heat it seems to clah
on Lullaby (Finding Peace) by Miggy 14 Jul 2003, 8:56 AM
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. I think that was the effect you were going for

kind of soothing
on My Goddess... by loneshadow29 14 Jul 2003, 8:53 AM
lucid, but a bit saccharin and I cringed imagining you saying it to someone

not bad though
on unsent by Bill Z Bub 14 Jul 2003, 8:51 AM
lots of non-sequitors on poemranker like 'give you my breath' the follow up about 'take it at midnight' made my day.

Good poem, tight
on SILENT ECHOES by Tahlia 14 Jul 2003, 8:23 AM
yes nicely put together
on Optimism, pessimism and my quarter theory by INTRANSIT 13 Jul 2003, 1:28 PM
quite, and isn't saying half empty stating that it has been emptied to half its amount. And showing concern for its half emptiness?
on In the Vicinity of Dreams by Blue Magpie 13 Jul 2003, 6:18 AM
very good.

A complete poem gentle 'the vicinity of dreams' is kind of modern too
on SANATORIUM by Tahlia 12 Jul 2003, 12:07 PM
quite simple but clear with a few interesting lines

I think to say minds are jailed in madness is not warranted. And if it is you have not argued it

overall pleasant though
replying on Performer by http://mulberryfairy 12 Jul 2003, 12:01 PM
I mean doesn't really work