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In the Vicinity of Dreams (Free verse) by Blue Magpie
I am in the vicinity of dreams here beside this lake. Fantasies of a life that is simply lived, not one that is worried about, flow in the quiet air above the tepid, slowly-moving waters. Gently they waft into my eyes, allowing me to see, serenity. Peacefulness is here amongst the reeds, drifting across the water lilies draped over the shallows like old paint cracked and pealing into the sun-loved air. Here where Ardeola stands like the finger of some aquatic God momentarily pointing the way to life. to freedom, to peace for my fact and technology blinded mind, while Podiceps cristata looks beneath the weeds for what she needs, and nothing more. Live they cry, these quite echoes of my sight. Be and be blessed in the riches that are here, like the frogs and the dragonflies, real and alive for all their lives.

Down the ladder: Yellow Star

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 10
.. 21
.. 10
.. 30
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00

Arithmetic Mean: 7.3
Weighted score: 6.15
Overall Rank: 1066
Posted: July 13, 2003 12:25 AM PDT; Last modified: July 13, 2003 12:25 AM PDT
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Comments:
[9] richa @ 81.86.72.136 | 13-Jul-03/6:18 AM | Reply
very good.

A complete poem gentle 'the vicinity of dreams' is kind of modern too
[7] EAger to Offend @ 65.95.243.55 | 13-Jul-03/12:12 PM | Reply
I love that kind of incidental, displaced rhyme. "...beneath the weeds/ for what she needs..."
Nice work. My 7 is for establishing a mellow mood without a hint of boredom.
[8] Rodavlas @ 68.81.136.124 | 13-Jul-03/5:48 PM | Reply
wholesome, and romantic
[9] Tahlia @ 144.137.86.45 | 14-Jul-03/5:59 PM | Reply
Very effective write, its peacefullness conveyed excellently.
[10] SupremeDreamer @ 204.31.176.182 | 14-Jul-03/11:22 PM | Reply
Bravo! 10
234 view(s)




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