Re: Middleman by INTRANSIT	22-Jul-03/8:11 AM
good, nice use of language and the poem finishes strongly
Re: Yellow Star by Mr Pig	21-Jul-03/4:02 PM
varied use of language as ever, and the allusions to religeous persecution vis a vis the cutting of hair is succinctly put. So much so the nazi and jew bits are almost not needed
Re: waiting in my own way by rockinindividual	21-Jul-03/3:08 PM
cute first part but you seem to try too hard to ram the point home
Re: The Path Untrodden by Terence	21-Jul-03/6:40 AM
quite good, plenty of varied language and very lyrical
Re: far but close by KagatoSan	21-Jul-03/6:37 AM
A little lacking but reads well and the final three lines closes it well
Re: hermetic by Bill Z Bub	21-Jul-03/6:35 AM
a bit odd, the first verse build up is well but it seems to move too fast to the end. still original use of language sets it apart
Re: a comment on Let's Not Forget by Artemis745	21-Jul-03/1:52 AM
we you refering to the animals or artemis?
Re: I've lost my poetic edge by thepinkbunnyofdoom	20-Jul-03/12:08 PM
I have no creative thoughts at the moment so I shall write a poem about it! unless this is a creative thought anyway a bit too smart/postmodern/ for me
Re: Seduce Like Zeus by EAger to Offend	20-Jul-03/12:05 PM
a thought too late and too soon ?
Re: Let's Not Forget by Artemis745	20-Jul-03/12:02 PM
I think you are trying too hard to rhyme. You need to be more graphic and more specific in terms you use. We know what humans do to other animals but point out hypocrisies, use metaphor etc
Re: Bloody Night by Ted Bundy	20-Jul-03/11:55 AM
just seems like a list of fucked up things to do maybe needs tightening to give the words their full power.
Re: Death Wish by Kitch	19-Jul-03/6:10 AM
a little bit distant for a suicide poem, also you probably shouldn't rhyme so loudly on such a serious issue
Re: Summer Rain by DJCARTER	19-Jul-03/6:02 AM
like the structure in the first three lines leading to the mind rhyme. A lot of this is too self absorbed though, I am not drawn into it
Re: My Angel of Darkness by goddessbyfire	19-Jul-03/3:25 AM
Like this poem, not much to grab onto in the way of context but nice images and no obvious holes in it
Re: Pretzel by daryash-koh	17-Jul-03/10:38 AM
needs a bit of insight/ something new to say to compliment the imagery. Like the pretzel bit though nice to have a joke that becomes obvious when it is told
Re: Train Suicide by snjofridur1	17-Jul-03/10:35 AM
a thought is never heard? how do you access your own thoughts then? Does it become apparent only when you open your mouth? I do like the flow of this the last line spoils it though, a bit too pretentious
Re: Next Century by Birdpia	17-Jul-03/10:31 AM
who will write a love poem like this in the next century. A few million I would have thought! Some good points through I like the abrupt end to the first verse and second
Re: Border towns & the runs by horus8	17-Jul-03/10:28 AM
like hostile as a car bomb and the use of line breaks (prostitutes that pull/) fourth verse is like an eminem lyric, funny
Re: rainday by Bill Z Bub	17-Jul-03/10:26 AM
I quite like all the daft words you use. It could almost be a nonsense poem or a surreal poem. Bloombrellas is my favourite
Re: Aluminum Xena - Prima Ballerina by SupremeDreamer	17-Jul-03/10:23 AM
sweet images in the first verse well fitted together. not sure about the direction it took in the second verse. But I like poems that introduce themselves before later revealing the plot