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hermetic (Pimple) by Bill Z Bub My chest is a cauldron,
heaving.
my heart is a wicked spell,
seething.
my brain is a crone,
cackling.
and the candles have turned
to black pools
in the hollow vats of my face.
you tricked me with your secret.
you cradled me in lies.
you trapped me with your steel-pin tongue
and stripped me down to burning skies,
walked widdershins while streaming blood,
and left this devil to the flood.
Up the ladder:
Beer
Down the ladder:
you first time in my sight
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.0
Posted: July 20, 2003 10:57 PM PDT; Last modified: August 18, 2003 4:21 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.0 Overall Rank: 7503 Comments:
a bit odd, the first verse build up is well but it seems to move too fast to the end.
still original use of language sets it apart
Holy shit this was fucking awesome. Anyone for a game of lawn jarts?
8. infinitely better than you were just a few months ago. i'd say the hunger's shaping you.
I think its grand you have not over jammed this tart.8
no. not a buuterfly. god no.
What? No, that would be incredibly trite. I would never do that. Really. No, seriously.
how immaculate it could be if he walked widdershinswhile eking ichor...
Ha Ha! yeah. Walka walka.
Wow, way to lose a butterfly and gain a steel pin! Nicely done, Mr. Z.Bub.
What an excellent display of madness! This person seems terrible. I enjoyed this piece.
Siete italiani? Potete leggere questa traduzione terribile? In caso
affermativo, dia prego un'occhiata al mio poem "canto di desiderio".
Ooohh. Nice one, sir.
342 view(s)
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you tricked me with your secrets
you kept me with your chants
you held me with your blood (second note)
Besides that, you gotta know I dug it.
I'll wait to see if you edit to vote.