poemranker ::hermetic by Bill Z Bub

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Pimple № 56904

hermetic

by Bill Z Bub

Member since 2002 · Posted 20 Jul 2003 · Edited 18 Aug 2003 · 13 comments

My chest is a cauldron, heaving. my heart is a wicked spell, seething. my brain is a crone, cackling. and the candles have turned to black pools in the hollow vats of my face. you tricked me with your secret. you cradled me in lies. you trapped me with your steel-pin tongue and stripped me down to burning skies, walked widdershins while streaming blood, and left this devil to the flood.

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mean 5.00 weighted 5.00 rank 7495 views 342 View voting details →

13 votes so far. Yours would make 14.13 votes so far

13 comments

[n/a] horus8 20-Jul-03/11:20 PM Reply
and the candles have turned (1 note)

you tricked me with your secrets
you kept me with your chants
you held me with your blood (second note)

Besides that, you gotta know I dug it.

I'll wait to see if you edit to vote.



[7] richa 21-Jul-03/6:35 AM Reply
a bit odd, the first verse build up is well but it seems to move too fast to the end.

still original use of language sets it apart
[10] hipster flare 21-Jul-03/8:56 AM Reply
Holy shit this was fucking awesome. Anyone for a game of lawn jarts?
[8] zzinnia66 21-Jul-03/10:31 AM Reply
8. infinitely better than you were just a few months ago. i'd say the hunger's shaping you.
[8] Mr Pig 21-Jul-03/1:03 PM Reply
I think its grand you have not over jammed this tart.8
[n/a] <~> 18-Aug-03/12:06 PM Reply
no. not a buuterfly. god no.
[n/a] Bill Z Bub › <~> 18-Aug-03/4:22 PM Reply
What? No, that would be incredibly trite. I would never do that. Really. No, seriously.
[n/a] <~> › Bill Z Bub 18-Aug-03/5:29 PM Reply
how immaculate it could be if he walked widdershinswhile eking ichor...
[10] Bachus 18-Aug-03/7:22 PM Reply
Ha Ha! yeah. Walka walka.
[9] ecargo 18-Aug-03/9:27 PM Reply
Wow, way to lose a butterfly and gain a steel pin! Nicely done, Mr. Z.Bub.
[9] deleted user 8-Sep-03/10:14 PM Reply
What an excellent display of madness! This person seems terrible. I enjoyed this piece.
[n/a] Bill Z Bub › deleted user 8-Sep-03/10:41 PM Reply
Siete italiani? Potete leggere questa traduzione terribile? In caso
affermativo, dia prego un'occhiata al mio poem "canto di
desiderio".
[9] razorgrin 29-Sep-03/6:02 PM Reply
Ooohh. Nice one, sir.