Re: A See-Through Prayer by PsydewaysTears	1-Jul-07/3:12 AM
I rather like this, although it is pretty much a dictionary of romantic imagery.
Re: Why Do We Stay? by nypoet22	1-Jul-07/3:11 AM
What does Alex think would have happened if Iraq had been left alone? Good poeme though.
Re: Summer Festival by Christof	1-Jul-07/3:09 AM
If we want to solve third world water shortage, all we need to do is get Somalia to host Glastonbury and Wimbledon. 'Loose-limbed' is a bit cliche.
Re: Teddy Bear by lexxie100	1-Jul-07/3:04 AM
Nothing wrong with this poem, now look to improve your use of meter and imagery. A good book for learning the technical stuff is Stephen Fry's 'The Ode Less Travelled'. You'll be fine.
Re: a comment on (Title pending) by INTRANSIT	1-Jul-07/3:01 AM
Pinna Cochlea - that ought to be a cocktail.
Re: Immigrant by Christof	1-Jul-07/2:59 AM
Indeed. Meter trips, and I'm not sure I like the abundance of articles in lines 1-3. After that it's good.
Re: essence of a thought by lmp	22-Jun-07/1:14 PM
Good write. I like the rhymes although when you alter the pattern it is maybe a little distracting.
Re: a comment on Alcohol by tisa7	22-Jun-07/1:05 PM
"...it has got bells on it".
Re: Fourty Caliber Thirty Pack by drnick	22-Jun-07/2:17 AM
A lot of good lines - 'love is most commonly found written on a paper', 'piss out the rust' and others. Not sure about 'corporate feeding tubes', it might work better if it were a little more detached from the social ills. Or that might just be my reading. Good poeme. Btw, I never got that email, I think the microsoft network might not be all it's cracked up to be :-(
Re: a comment on Alcohol by tisa7	22-Jun-07/2:10 AM
A good friend of mine got utterly wrecked one night but woke up the next morning feeling fine. Due to the laws of equilibrium, his housemate, who had not touched a drop all night, got the hangover by proxy. True story. Even the god of alcohol seems to enjoy a laugh.
Re: a comment on Beslan by Ranger	21-Jun-07/5:32 AM
Minor - the children who were shot as they ran. Coming gloom/crumbling tomb - good call. I'll work on that.
Re: a comment on Tropical afternoon by cpill	21-Jun-07/5:26 AM
In retrospect, that sounds highly insulting. My apologies, it wasn't meant to be.
Re: Foie Gras by Christof	21-Jun-07/5:23 AM
The best game you can play with telesales is to pretend that you're interested in it as a career and ask them all about their job. See how long you can string them along for before they hang up. Love the torture of geese. Glorious.
Re: Better Things by EAger to Offend	21-Jun-07/5:18 AM
I personally love a good long slee[.
Re: husk [hai-crete] by lmp	21-Jun-07/5:15 AM
Love the breaking of broken and the flying of the flies. And presumably you're aiming for the breakages, the incompleteness making something whole and concrete?
Re: Field Work by Christof	21-Jun-07/5:13 AM
Marvellous to see you still alive and writing, Mr. C. This is clearly a poeme about doing something naughty.
Re: F Log-On by Skamper	21-Jun-07/5:12 AM
What exactly are you F-Logging? Make line 3 straight iambs ('fire into the midst') and perhaps the 'rolled sweated and panted' line wants rhythmic tweaking. Dovina's right about the rap-ness of this. Good poeme.
Re: The One I Threw Back by drnick	21-Jun-07/5:09 AM
Aside from 'I found God inside her face' I rather like this.
Re: The wait by aliena	21-Jun-07/5:07 AM
The voices in my head are crying 'image! image!' Perhaps play around with the sound of 'poetry' and make it sound like 'pottery' - something being wiped off clay. I'd like that.
Re: I Am A Reality by Skamper	21-Jun-07/5:03 AM
I'd agree with Imp, this is lyrical. But less rap, less Bjork and more Emiliana Torrini.