Re: Pleasure. (Leisure Spoof) by Ulterius	31-Aug-06/10:09 PM
What is this life, if led astray We haven't time for banter gay? I look forward to reading more of yours :-)
Re: Royal Blades by Dovina	4-Sep-06/12:00 AM
Did I catch a slight hint of smugness there? I assume the poem's about you, kudos for being able to skate; I can't. Word of warning - this poem could easily be read to carry a much more sinister meaning, if the reader has a slightly deranged mind (like mine).
Re: What makes you think I want to know you? by thepinkbunnyofdoom	4-Sep-06/12:03 AM
I dig the idea in here, but the rhythm was torturous for me. In my view, rhymes should be used to help the rhythm, not the other way round.
Re: Let this world crumble to dust without you by A_Dark_Calm	4-Sep-06/12:08 AM
I love a) the title b) the rhymes c) lines 3, 4, 5, 6 and the final two d) most of the content. Don't turn it into a haiku, haikus suck most of the time whereas I personally love a good old-fashioned form :-) I do think Dovina has a point - probably because there is so much abstractness in here (universe, 'let it happen', everything etc.). If you could build in a few more solid images to give me something tactile, I would love this more :-)
Re: Steve Irwin by Bobjim	4-Sep-06/11:40 PM
Or barbed through the heart by a stingray. *A minute's silence at the passing of a legend*
Re: From Across the Line by Dovina	4-Sep-06/11:40 PM
Glorious
Re: Singing by ThereseWaneck	4-Sep-06/11:45 PM
"A sweet sad song" didn't really seem to fit after the thunder/lightning/rock passage. Unless I missed something, which is highly plausible. I like the last three lines, but how about just "Slickly/step-step-steppin' to the storm/of the rain song's beat"?
Re: A Year Later (edited a bit) by Sasha	5-Sep-06/11:40 PM
One of the best villanelles I've read on the ranker - very traditional feel to it which gets bonus points :-) I'd find an alternative for the first 'shiver' in the final stanza, and you missed the last 'to' (that's not a criticism though, just a pedantic observation ;-)) Only other whinge I have is about the exclamation marks - personally I hate them in most poetry, but you might feel they're necessary to stay in keeping with the style. That's fair enough I guess, I won't derank it on that alone. Other than that? Stunning rhythm and it flows more or less perfectly (you might want to de-capitalise the start of line 14 to retain the grammatical consistency). This just has to be added to my favourites :-)
Re: Dying Abroad by zodiac	5-Sep-06/11:51 PM
Unbelievably good. 'Slip sibilant...' - reference to the sound of crickets? I thought it worked well. But then again, so did the rest of the piece.
Re: A Night By The Shore by Bhaskaryya	5-Sep-06/11:55 PM
Superb, another favourite :-D
regarding some deleted poem...	7-Sep-06/1:13 PM
Funny, in many senses of the word...
Re: Chronicles of a wannabe chav by Mr Pig	7-Sep-06/1:17 PM
Oh, mister P, once again you give us an amusing reflection on modern life. If only this could be turned into a full-length epic of beauty, barbarism and Burberry...
Re: End of day poem by ecargo	8-Sep-06/11:34 PM
Love some of the passages in here - 'seeds cling to stem', 'hidden labyrinths', 'curved shield of pewter sky' etc. I also like the way you begin with 'new gold' (of young grain, I assume) as opposed to the older amber light. Metre isn't my strong point, but 'over' was awkward to me, I'd have felt more comfortable with 'across', somehow. Line 13 I think should be 'Cicadas' (unless it's the churn of a cicada, not sure what you're getting at there). I do really like this though, the gentleness and natural beauty. Makes me think of home :-)
Re: weather poem part 11: the muffin by nypoet22	8-Sep-06/11:39 PM
The first line is class and the imagery in here is pretty unique to the subject, I think. Lines 8 and 9, although fun, seem a little...erm...simple, maybe, in comparison with the rest? The content is good there but I'd have preferred it to be rephrased. Other than that, I thoroughly enjoyed this :-)
Re: weather poem part 9: song for gloria by nypoet22	9-Sep-06/12:31 PM
The story in here is good - from experience (partly/entirely)? I tend to find that lyrics are difficult to rate in purely written form; their effectiveness is substantially down to the music involved. The following song is the ultimate example of it - average poetry, but utterly stunning when set to music: http://www.lyricscafe.com/p/porcupine_tree/061.htm (beware popups...) for the lyrics, if you can download it, the band is Porcupine Tree and the song is Heartattack In A Layby. **shameless plug over** What's the deal with the title - 'weather poem'?
Re: Products of Pacifisim by Nuit	9-Sep-06/12:33 PM
So are you saying that religious wars make for a more interesting life? That's what I'm taking from this poem.
regarding some deleted poem...	9-Sep-06/12:51 PM
Argh, I'm so close to getting this without having to pick at it. Is this an anti-political-correctness poem, or an anti-establishment poem?
Re: Once they were gliders. by half.italian	9-Sep-06/10:05 PM
Pretty cool, I'll have to come back to this later for a proper read of it :-)
regarding some deleted poem...	10-Sep-06/12:57 PM
What an opening line - and the first stanza is utterly soul-crushing. I love it. Not too sure about the second though, the departure from a mystical sense is a bit abrupt. Somehow stanza three works really well although I'll be damned if I know why (maybe it's the simplicity of it, not giving too much weight to 'emotion'), and the last one is nice. It might work better without the final line, which seems very much designed solely as a concluder (pretty important for an endline I guess, but I'd worked out the implications beforehand, so it appeared a bit redundant).
Re: The Natural Course of Fear by half.italian	10-Sep-06/1:00 PM
Curse of the typos strikes - 'raspberry'. Love the last line, although as an Englishman I, of course, don't feel fear ;-)