poemranker ::weather poem part 11: the muffin by nypoet22

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Other № 145756

weather poem part 11: the muffin

by nypoet22

Member since 2006 · Posted 8 Sep 2006 · 1 comment

Everyone mentions the weather. This morning my knee decides on its own to ache, to bite hard and with no warning. Betrayed, I stumble across the kitchen floor to grab breakfast. On the news, the weatherman says the latest hurricane has split apart, rain dripping south and wind swirling north, like the top cut off a muffin. I love breakfast images almost as much as breakfast, but not quite because i'm a reasonably good cook. The night nears an end, and I fly: away from one muffin and into the arms of another.

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mean 5.33 weighted 5.04 rank 7171 views 225 View voting details →

3 votes so far. Yours would make 4.3 votes so far

1 comment

[8] Ranger 8-Sep-06/11:39 PM Reply
The first line is class and the imagery in here is pretty unique to the subject, I think. Lines 8 and 9, although fun, seem a little...erm...simple, maybe, in comparison with the rest? The content is good there but I'd have preferred it to be rephrased. Other than that, I thoroughly enjoyed this :-)