regarding some deleted poem... |
10-Sep-06/1:05 PM |
I read through this earlier and I'm still making my mind up about it. There's nothing wrong with it, but I feel it needs a certain punch, a killer line somewhere. Doesn't have to be at the end, just a moment of originality or imagery or something like that. I do like the semi-repetitions though, like them a lot :-)
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Re: My Prayer by amanda_dcosta |
10-Sep-06/1:17 PM |
Sweet, but it could do with something other than 'amazing grace'. Other than that, nice :-)
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Re: Final Goregasm by creepshow |
11-Sep-06/9:21 AM |
Are you a Jack the Ripper fan?
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Re: The Clock and the Storm by cleverdevice |
11-Sep-06/9:23 AM |
Excellent spelling! Have you gone back to Durham yet?
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regarding some deleted poem... |
11-Sep-06/9:26 AM |
Read this with a piano playing something in a minor key in the background. So fucking beautiful.
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Re: Wet dreams by ecargo |
11-Sep-06/9:38 AM |
I found 'mother bulk' incredibly difficult to reconcile with the title...could just be me, I guess. Also, 'spray of sun' was difficult - although it's a lovely phrase - because of the earlier links with night (again, could just be me, I'm tired so bear with me ;-) ). The description is super and I do like the rhymes :-)
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regarding some deleted poem... |
11-Sep-06/9:40 AM |
Damn funny but I find the idea of my genitals becoming chocolate to be utterly terrifying...
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Re: Flood Land, East Kentucky by zodiac |
11-Sep-06/9:49 AM |
This demands several reads, awesome lines and a compelling story. I suck at accents and dialects, so I'll have to assume you've got it right, but that's not a difficult assumption to justify.
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Re: I Have a Brain That Glows In the Dark by colbaby |
12-Sep-06/12:09 AM |
I think Steve Irwin's untimely demise might have unhinged you. Fucking funny poems though :-D
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Re: When I Were a Duck by colbaby |
12-Sep-06/12:09 AM |
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Re: a limerick from kent by nentwined |
12-Sep-06/12:10 AM |
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Re: Solace by Miggy |
12-Sep-06/9:53 PM |
"Just another case in the jar"? I could understand if it was the other way round. Am I missing something?
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Re: Fill Out That Paper by Wakeboarder20 |
12-Sep-06/9:53 PM |
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regarding some deleted poem... |
12-Sep-06/10:05 PM |
Incredible opener, and I love most of the rest. Not sure about 'mangled sob', it's too...unelegant for the piece. Other than that, beautiful.
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Re: Satyr by ecargo |
13-Sep-06/10:07 PM |
"there's chaste to be chased 'neath the myrtle 'til dawn" -- http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=144546 suggests you haven't been doing too much to discourage this kind of behaviour, ecargo :-p
This reminds me of something, and I can't for the life of me think what...
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Re: Dear Maggie by Stephen Robins |
13-Sep-06/10:11 PM |
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Re: Be Not Afraid Of Dying. by Mr Pig |
13-Sep-06/10:15 PM |
Sweet, traditional English meets traditional Japanese. Blessed.
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Re: The Ice Soldier by MacFrantic |
13-Sep-06/10:17 PM |
Good grief, Mac - I looked up to see a gathering of 5 users online...4 of which are you! New record, methinks. How's Colorado?
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Re: 72 virgins (but the bitches ain't fun) by ALChemy |
14-Sep-06/10:18 PM |
Really, this poem is an explanation of the origin of the phrase 'fucking hell'.
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Re: Farewell, Kind Lover by Dovina |
14-Sep-06/10:21 PM |
Nice. I read this yesterday, unfortunately having spent the day shifting vegetables so the mental image of tender, brave sprouts was hilarious. Now I'm a bit more with it, I can appreciate it.
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