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My Prayer (Free verse) by amanda_dcosta Spirit of God, flow through me,
Fill my being and set me free
From bondages that this life brings
From money, pride and prejudice.
Spirit of God, sanctify me
Wash me now and make me clean;
That I might learn the path youâve made
For me, that leads to amazing grace.
Spirit of God, I love you so
I live for you and want to know
How I can change my life to be
With you for all eternity.
Up the ladder:
puff
Down the ladder:
Intimate Joy
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.8
Posted: March 26, 2006 10:13 AM PST; Last modified: March 26, 2006 10:13 AM PSTWeighted score: 5.095362 Overall Rank: 6127 Comments:
You should try writing about something other than this "God" fellow.
I'd sure like to read about Goa. I saw a travel show that did a segment on it and it looks fascinating and beautiful. I have a friend traveling in India right now, and he loved it there; said the people were great and the island very beautiful.
Your mango pickle poem hinted at some tantalizing things to write about. And the show I watched had some interesting bits about the Portugese influence on the culture and about certain things for which Goa is apparently known (terra cotta art, the food, etc.) You've got a rich and--to me--exotic background to draw on.
The two aren't mutually exclusive Mandy. I'm not saying write "something else." Whatever your faith, I assume you live with it when you're walking down the street, buying fish, cooking dinner, yelling at your kids, weeding the garden, pulling up your stockings--it's not something separate from that, is it? I doubt you get through your days and then think "well, okay, now it's Time for God! Yay!"
Since you mentioned non-Christian reactions, Iâll give you mine. Poems like this, to me, read like the same old tired proselytizing. Thereâs no hook to draw me in. I think there are some fantastic religious poems: Anne Sextonâs âWelcome Morningâ comes to mind (mainly because she weaves in the homey details that make it accessible and, even for a nonbeliever, relevant). I also think thereâs a lot of awful religious poetry. And what makes most of it awful is that it comes off as smug and preachy. Whatever they may think, Christians have no more automatic peace of mind or insight than anyone else. What they may have is a different perspective. If you donât make that perspective interesting and accessible, though, then youâll only attract readers who already believe what you believe. Poetry is in the details. Good luck with your book.
Welcome Morning by Anne Sexton
There is joy in all: in the hair I brush each morning, in the Cannon towel, newly washed, that I rub my body with each morning, in the chapel of eggs I cook each morning, in the outcry from the kettle that heats my coffee each morning, in the spoon and the chair that cry "hello there, Anne" each morning, in the godhead of the table that I set my silver, plate, cup upon each morning. All this is God, right here in my pea-green house each morning and I mean, though often forget, to give thanks, to faint down by the kitchen table in a prayer of rejoicing as the holy birds at the kitchen window peck into their marriage of seeds. So while I think of it, let me paint a thank-you on my palm for this God, this laughter of the morning, lest it go unspoken. The Joy that isn't shared, I've heard, dies young. Anne Sexton revels in happy god-aspects of ordinary things in her life. Amanda could use her Goa experience to the same goal, but instead she is expositional and self-searching, but not proselytizing in my opinion. Both are good techniques. I donât prefer either on that basis. I enjoy Anne Sexton. http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Cafe/1324/
On what basis?
Actually, this poem is quite different from much of Sexton's poetry. She's often much darker. This is one of the few poems among her collection, The Awful Rowing to God, that doesn't deal with her struggle to find peace and balance in her life. In the end, faith didn't save her from suicide. I'm not sure what you mean by "expositional" in this context. If it were more expositional and less vague and broad, I'd probably like it better. As a nonbeliever, there's nothing in Mandy's poem to draw me in.
I don't think Mandy is trying to draw anyone into her Christianity. Maybe she is, but not in this poem. She tries to explain her condition (exposition) and admits that it lacks what she wants. I was comparing that to what Anne Sexton is showing in only one of her poems. I was not relating Amanda's life as a whole to Anne's life as a whole.
Yeah, I'm not trying to draw anyone into my faith, it's just that I'm searching for more answers to ease my faith and make it more clearer, and there's no better way for me than to ask the Holy Spirit to help and guide me. I believe in being simple and relating to the simple, and hence you will find most of my work absolutely and down to earth simple. ecargo, you might find my poem 'Through the channel' a bit interesting, as it gives a bit of being spiritual without the mention of 'God' in it. If you haven't read it yet, you might find it interesting, hopefully.
dear friend drnick,... I'm sorry to disappoint you, but this is me. Praising God and calling on Jesus is my passion. He is reflected in almost every thing I write and I can't help it. So unless you pray hard, very hard for a change in my writing style, and themes, you won't get anything else from me. Sorry about this, but cheer up, there's a lot of poets to cater to your taste. I'm disappointed though that I might not be one of them.
Here's my challenge to you: Write a poem about God that never overtly mentions him or anything else that would be directly linked to the bible. Use metaphor or whatever you can think of to make it work. Here's an example: http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.j
I promise it will make your book that much better.
I like you Al. Somehow you have a reference for almost anything. I've just critiqued your poem Buddy. I'm surprised you sent it as a reference.
Shameless of me, wasn't it?
Yeah, shameless of you! How could you? ;-)
I GET MY JOLLY FROM THAT LOLLY.
PINK, FLESHY LIFE GIVER. WOMEN OR MEN? BOW DOWN. SUCCUMB! OUR PASSAGE THROUGH. WITHOUT IT. IS BUT NUMB!
Excellent. There's no need to SHOUT though, we can hear you.
Sweet, but it could do with something other than 'amazing grace'. Other than that, nice :-)
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