| Re: The End by Caducus |
13-Oct-05/9:35 AM |
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need to know last line of s4 - is it needed do you thibnk?
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| Re: Loss by <{Baba^Yaga}> |
11-Oct-05/9:24 AM |
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still brings a tear to my eye
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| Re: a comment on Sunrise On The Slag Heap by Caducus |
30-Sep-05/1:16 AM |
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| Re: A Barefoot Day in the Park by Dovina |
29-Sep-05/9:05 AM |
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You always grab my attention 2nd stanza opening 4 is very good. The ending seems laclustre but then i am over dramatic.
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| Re: a comment on Sunrise On The Slag Heap by Caducus |
29-Sep-05/8:05 AM |
Their is an open mic poetry night at the tin angel pub in coventry which is cool but feel disillusioned by where poetry isn't going. I've accepted I'm flawed but think you can make a better point with some poetry read aloud, for instance it can be more moving, funny, and reactions can be gauged which can change you as a writer.
For national poetry day my city which is home to Phillip Larkin (Coventry) has not got a single worthy thing planned around poetry.
Time for anarchy - well its that or the polish working mens club reading with no teeth.
Where do you plan to go with your writing?
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| Re: a comment on From Dust To Flesh To Texas by Caducus |
24-Sep-05/4:11 AM |
I agree but then this is a personal one unlike most of mine which are not.
My love life is a bit wonky and I'm not a great poet just honest and fucked up.
Thank you for reading.
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| Re: a comment on From Dust To Flesh To Texas by Caducus |
24-Sep-05/4:08 AM |
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No proof of it I guess. Thanks for commenting
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| Re: Leaving Song by wilco |
15-Sep-05/9:30 AM |
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I know line 3 its so true.
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| Re: Creation by Quarton |
15-Sep-05/9:29 AM |
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Pretty good and technically sound it just seems a bit anonymous. Try and do one without the emphasis on rhyme it may be more punchy.
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| Re: Dale by INTRANSIT |
15-Sep-05/9:00 AM |
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its a freakin classic and normally what i liked a couple of years ago isnt the same now (which can be said of some readers to my work). This is still so haunting and ripping out the guts of a grandfather clock shows your emotive qualities spilling over - this poem made me like you as a human and writer.
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| Re: Seekers by Dovina |
15-Sep-05/8:57 AM |
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you dont need asymettrically its too effucsive with it but i like the comparisons of natures shape to our own.
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| Re: Leaving the Woods House by zodiac |
23-Aug-05/7:49 AM |
I second what alchemy said and this is an awesome piece of writing - definitely in the top 10 I've read on here and elsewhere.
Last line should be tenderhooks
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| Re: Letter from Palermo by Caducus |
23-Aug-05/6:16 AM |
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Dont you just love that name? Hows the road truckmeister?
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| Re: Storm Damage by Caducus |
16-Aug-05/3:56 AM |
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God help me if Dark Angel sees this.
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| Re: Horus8 & The Werewolves Live At The Hard Rock Cafe by horus8 |
9-Aug-05/8:04 AM |
Retitle - 'Plug'
I'd chop off my scaramanga to see it.
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| Re: First by Dovina |
9-Aug-05/8:03 AM |
A guess - Mr Springer
Final thought - confuzled.
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| Re: Mandrakes by Caducus |
1-Aug-05/9:32 AM |
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granted - its rough as a rhinos arse please help.
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| Re: Dying Abroad by zodiac |
12-Jul-05/9:26 AM |
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Once I found out what a triolet is I'll come back.
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| Re: Butterfly Plague by zodiac |
12-Jul-05/9:25 AM |
The title sucked me in and this part I wish I'd written :
Here's a naked-necked girl laughing
in a square, thumbnail sawing an orange-skin.
There is more too but I'm out of it.
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| Re: Crack baby by Caducus |
7-Jul-05/7:10 AM |
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