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From Dust To Flesh To Texas (Free verse) by Caducus
Safe within the ultra-scan I was barely visible Asleep in a manger Until Herod killed me With ten latex swords. After I was born I was barely visible Sour breasts from a sweet Mother Who sang of a Mocking Bird That never came. When I was twelve my Dad showed me Jesus but I saw a carpenter dying on a cross he carved? So I could be forgiven For pending sins. When I was twelve My God was born in Texas She weighed two pounds four ounces And crucified my devils By the time I was thirty. Some babies are born old They have lived a hundred lives Searching to be found And dying lost For they were alive to be dead again. I have loved her always From dust to flesh to Texas And now I have a home in her The door is locked But I am visible.

Up the ladder: I've thought a lot
Down the ladder: Last love poem

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.25
Weighted score: 5.1490035
Overall Rank: 5292
Posted: September 23, 2005 1:23 AM PDT; Last modified: September 23, 2005 1:23 AM PDT
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Comments:
[9] deleted user @ 64.171.157.245 | 23-Sep-05/11:45 AM | Reply
All I can say is -- OUTSTANDING. Very powerful,k moving examination of the ambiguities, contradictions, and agonies in life. You have a wonderful gift; I hope you will continue to write.
[8] Dovina @ 24.213.236.224 | 23-Sep-05/2:10 PM | Reply
Very good until the last two verses. Then you seem to shift into another gear. It's like two poems.
[n/a] Caducus @ 172.200.189.239 > Dovina | 24-Sep-05/4:11 AM | Reply
I agree but then this is a personal one unlike most of mine which are not.

My love life is a bit wonky and I'm not a great poet just honest and fucked up.

Thank you for reading.
[8] Tintagiles @ 198.164.251.165 | 23-Sep-05/4:04 PM | Reply
Nice, nice. Why the question mark at 'cross he carved'? The second last stanza doesn't seem to fit that well, though.
[n/a] Caducus @ 172.200.189.239 > Tintagiles | 24-Sep-05/4:08 AM | Reply
No proof of it I guess. Thanks for commenting
[n/a] ALChemy @ 65.188.89.69 | 25-Sep-05/9:46 AM | Reply
Drop the next to last line. It's out of place and seems preachy. Otherwise real good.

She was 18 when you were 30?!


You old dog you;)
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