DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Creation

Member since 2002 · Posted 14 Sep 2005 · 8 comments

In times long past, the universe was born, fiery explosion, fabric of space/time torn. Infinite density freed by powers unknown, our future being from singularity sown. Over time, nascent universe cooled, hydrogen and helium together pooled. New stars formed at a rapid pace, creating light in the dark empty space. Supernovae exploded and eventially collapsed, creating black holes in reality's contrast. Elements then formed, ignited into being, life's ingredients, in diversity weaving. Over time, newborn planets appeared, on earth, creation's song then heard. In evolution's sure hands we entrust, essence composed of recycled stardust. We gaze outward; of fantasies dream, moon made shadows under heavenly gleam. Ancient singularity over eons of time, beckons to all; thoughts ennobled, sublime.

Rate it

0 is the worst, 10 the best. Pick a number, add a comment if you like, then send it. Keys: 0–9 pick, Enter sends.

mean 5.40 weighted 5.05 rank 6861 views 183 View voting details →

5 votes so far. Yours would make 6.5 votes so far

8 comments

[6] Dovina 14-Sep-05/2:50 PM Reply

I find little enobling of thoughts on considering the whole thing in this way. not sublime anyway. Maybe some metaphor or speculation, like a blooming flower or something.

[5] wilco 14-Sep-05/3:03 PM Reply

eventually

This seems more like a science textbook put to rhyme than a poem...give it some feeling.

[6] Caducus 15-Sep-05/9:29 AM Reply

Pretty good and technically sound it just seems a bit anonymous. Try and do one without the emphasis on rhyme it may be more punchy.

[10] zodiac 16-Sep-05/2:33 AM Reply

You again. Do you consider the Big Bang and creation of Earth to be part of the process of evolution, or did the poem just kind of spaz out at that point?

[n/a] Quarton › zodiac 16-Sep-05/12:25 PM Reply

zodiac,

I believe the big bang or singularity as being the beginning
of evolution and resulting in humans over a period of over
13 billion years. I also believe there exist countless other
universes spread out over space/time. It seems improbable that
ours is the only one.

[10] zodiac › Quarton 18-Sep-05/1:27 AM Reply

Your comment about other universes spread over space and time makes me think this poem could stand a metaphor of jam spread over an old man's creased buttocks. Judging from the rest of the comments on this poem, everyone agrees.

PS-I was considering only organic evolution, or the evolution of species by competition, natural selection, and so on. Apparently there's a whole other evolution, inorganic evolution, dealing with the creation of the physical universe, that I had no idea about. My unprepared response is going to be that considering human or organic evolution as part of the same process of inorganic evolution that resulted in the creation of galaxies and such from unorganized matter is kind of silly. If this ends with me having to go through the bother of a prepared response, I'm going to shoot myself.

[n/a] Quarton › zodiac 20-Sep-05/1:03 PM Reply

Not to worry. Your distinction between organic evolution and inorganic evolution are right on. So put tht that gun down!

[n/a] ALChemy 16-Sep-05/7:55 AM Reply

If Spock wrote poetry.

Get Kirk to spice it up a little.