Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

First (Free verse) by Dovina
Adam may be the first man, but Jerry was the first boy. Adam gave a rib for Eve. Jerry gave some daffodils.

Up the ladder: Lies
Down the ladder: summers' dream

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 00
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00
.. 10
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 20

Arithmetic Mean: 3.8
Weighted score: 4.8569565
Overall Rank: 10477
Posted: August 9, 2005 7:49 AM PDT; Last modified: August 9, 2005 7:49 AM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
[n/a] Caducus @ 172.214.52.232 | 9-Aug-05/8:03 AM | Reply
A guess - Mr Springer

Final thought - confuzled.
[n/a] Dovina @ 69.175.32.104 > Caducus | 9-Aug-05/11:34 AM | Reply
?
[5] daggatolar @ 196.201.131.153 | 9-Aug-05/8:09 AM | Reply
and Jerry, after Adam
fell into the pit
like blind
[n/a] Dovina @ 69.175.32.104 > daggatolar | 9-Aug-05/11:35 AM | Reply
I don't think either of them fell into any pit blind.
[6] T. Jonathron Remp @ 128.252.229.185 | 9-Aug-05/8:10 AM | Reply
So we're all Jerry's kids?
[n/a] Dovina @ 69.175.32.104 > T. Jonathron Remp | 9-Aug-05/11:35 AM | Reply
No, only a certain girl was Jerry's kid.
[n/a] ALChemy @ 65.188.89.69 | 9-Aug-05/8:23 AM | Reply
Then Juan came along and Adam and Jerry never heard from Eve again.
In all seriousness though. Don't you think Genesis is a bit demeaning to women. Someone should rewrite it. It's not like it hasn't been done before.
[n/a] Dovina @ 69.175.32.104 > ALChemy | 9-Aug-05/11:34 AM | Reply
Neither Geneses nor Jerry is demeaning to women in my opinion.
[8] Bethy @ 24.222.32.234 | 9-Aug-05/12:34 PM | Reply
Was Jerry your first boyfriend...if so...nice...am I on the right track...first thing it made me think of...my first ...crush guy, gave me a Gordie Howe hockey card... :) Bethy
[n/a] Dovina @ 69.175.32.104 > Bethy | 9-Aug-05/12:44 PM | Reply
Yep, you're onto me. Don't know where all these other comments come from.
[n/a] Stephen Robins @ 84.13.16.96 | 9-Aug-05/2:38 PM | Reply
Proper.
[0] zodiac @ 212.38.134.51 | 14-Aug-05/1:04 AM | Reply
Verily. -0-
[n/a] Dovina @ 69.175.32.104 > zodiac | 15-Aug-05/2:10 PM | Reply
Never before have you zeroed me. Why?
[0] zodiac @ 212.118.19.46 > Dovina | 20-Aug-05/4:45 AM | Reply
I really really really didn't like it. As poetry or anything else. No hard feelings, I hope.
[0] zodiac @ 212.118.19.46 > Dovina | 20-Aug-05/4:49 AM | Reply
I spent an hour last week trying to write a reply explaining why I didn't like it. Then I thought, well shit it's not like she spent an hour writing the poem in the first place. I also spent a long night reading Genesis last week and have decided Genesis is demeaning to women and you are demeaning to women. This shouldn't come as a surprise to you. The only way to make Genesis not-demeaning (which, I should add, I do as a matter of course) is by being flexible enough to squeeze through your own asshole. On top of that, I have very little idea what you mean by this poem.
[n/a] ALChemy @ 65.188.89.69 > zodiac | 20-Aug-05/9:54 AM | Reply
And Jesus said "It is easier for zodiac to squeeze through his own asshole than for a woman to get a membership into the great golf courses of heaven."
300 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001