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In a Church (Other) by Sasha
Translated from the Welsh of Emyr Lewis. Candles are stars in the people’s hands: a bit of tallow for the Madonna. Each one’s a gift, a silent prayer, keeping a secret in holy honor. The saints repose who served their Lord in mystic grace of wood and gloss. Their eyes partake of radiance while they whisper "Sancta Simplicitas" Here God descends through ceiling cracks as a moth heads for flame: to fly playing hide and seek with a hot blade, living in peril, not knowing why.

Up the ladder: Deja Vu

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Arithmetic Mean: 3.8
Weighted score: 4.8569565
Overall Rank: 10472
Posted: November 9, 2006 12:39 PM PST; Last modified: November 9, 2006 12:39 PM PST
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Comments:
[8] Dovina @ 72.234.150.12 | 11-Nov-06/1:47 PM | Reply
It's a good poem, I suppose, at least a good poem in translation. Couldn't you improve the meter though, and not lose the meaning. i.e.:

Star candles
in the people’s hands,
a bit of tallow
for Madonna.
Each a gift,
a silent prayer,
a secret keeping
holy honor.
[1] Engelbert Humpalot @ 194.154.22.52 | 13-Nov-06/9:53 AM | Reply
Religious bollox.
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