on Wandering Spirit by angel_uy
17 Apr 2003, 8:16 AM
Almost dramatic, it reads like a thought process rather than a poem. You need to work on imagery and metaphor to make it stand out and grab the readers balls. 5
on Down Lovers Lane by Mr Pig
8 Apr 2003, 9:43 AM
Looks mostly excellent but I have some Q&A on this be back tomorrow.
on Is It Love by angel_uy
17 Apr 2003, 8:20 AM
This is basic in all aspects, lacking imagination and any interest value for the reader. In your work I have read thus far some of your lines are good, quite dreamlike, but as poems rather forgettable. Dust yourself down and keep bangin them out. 5
on Damaged By 'Weakness' by Mr Pig
11 Apr 2003, 2:21 AM
sorry to hear of your porking problem.
on some deleted poem
23 Apr 2003, 8:55 AM
You also let the reader in with this and its a very engaging, accessible poem. I disagree about the end it is not lost, that ride to the hills and the view from the top took me up there with you. 9
on Hey! Shut up, and cut my grass. by horus8
21 Apr 2003, 2:29 AM
This one got my pants in a flymo, very cutting (literally)
on visual erotic by princesszoe
21 Apr 2003, 2:34 AM
A exfoliation of lust, like sugarcane.8
on some deleted poem
21 Apr 2003, 2:26 AM
A fine vintage, and nice to see eveyone reading the ingredients before they buy it, I did buy it -9
(p.s thanks for the advice on the desecrated chapel, fine pointers)
(p.s thanks for the advice on the desecrated chapel, fine pointers)
on Is It Love by angel_uy
17 Apr 2003, 8:21 AM
By the way I would say tintagiles is by far the best imagery poet on this site, you wanna listen to the geezer.
on Leaves by danny duke age 9
17 Apr 2003, 8:28 AM
Hey Danny !
If you are indeed a 9 year old this is a brave effort mate. Good use of rhyme and you stuck to to the subject well. Keep writing and good luck with your poetry heres an 8.
If you are indeed a 9 year old this is a brave effort mate. Good use of rhyme and you stuck to to the subject well. Keep writing and good luck with your poetry heres an 8.
on A prayer for my mum by Mr Pig (again)
12 Apr 2003, 1:02 PM
Some will love it as I do and a few will hate it but who can deny its beautiful? 9
on AIDS in a van by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
2 Apr 2003, 5:48 AM
I think this should be read to all new pupils at secondary school followed up by lessons on how not to drive whilst contracting the virus.
on Shelter by poetandknowit
2 Apr 2003, 5:34 AM
To be fair I liked this, the length is just right for what you have conveyed. line 4/5 is said articulately even though its cliched, and I tip my hat to you on this one and vote you a 9.
(please carry on being a bastard I quite like it now).
(please carry on being a bastard I quite like it now).
on To My Grave by Bonehiss
11 Apr 2003, 2:23 AM
Very concealed points, please enlighten me more I almost enjoyed it 6
on Shimmer of Tears by angel_uy
17 Apr 2003, 8:14 AM
Not sure about lifes breath and loneliness you have spelled wrong other than that its quite a nice mad 5 minutes you had in writing this. 6
on make me smile by Garrett S Sexton
2 Apr 2003, 5:17 AM
2 things in life are guaranteed : death and a nurse.
on FIRETRUCK by Garrett S Sexton
2 Apr 2003, 5:19 AM
Cool Ending
on Worst Haiku Ever by maffy
2 Apr 2003, 5:21 AM
cack
on good-bye kansas city: meditation #1 by poetandknowit
2 Apr 2003, 5:29 AM
Astonishingly poor, this didnt pop my pimple at all.