| Re: make me smile by Garrett S Sexton |
2-Apr-03/5:17 AM |
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2 things in life are guaranteed : death and a nurse.
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| Re: FIRETRUCK by Garrett S Sexton |
2-Apr-03/5:19 AM |
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| Re: Worst Haiku Ever by maffy |
2-Apr-03/5:21 AM |
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| Re: good-bye kansas city: meditation #1 by poetandknowit |
2-Apr-03/5:29 AM |
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Astonishingly poor, this didnt pop my pimple at all.
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| Re: Shelter by poetandknowit |
2-Apr-03/5:34 AM |
To be fair I liked this, the length is just right for what you have conveyed. line 4/5 is said articulately even though its cliched, and I tip my hat to you on this one and vote you a 9.
(please carry on being a bastard I quite like it now).
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| Re: AIDS in a van by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. |
2-Apr-03/5:48 AM |
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I think this should be read to all new pupils at secondary school followed up by lessons on how not to drive whilst contracting the virus.
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| Re: Down Lovers Lane by Mr Pig |
8-Apr-03/9:43 AM |
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Looks mostly excellent but I have some Q&A on this be back tomorrow.
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| Re: Damaged By 'Weakness' by Mr Pig |
11-Apr-03/2:21 AM |
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sorry to hear of your porking problem.
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| Re: To My Grave by Bonehiss |
11-Apr-03/2:23 AM |
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Very concealed points, please enlighten me more I almost enjoyed it 6
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| Re: A prayer for my mum by Mr Pig (again) |
12-Apr-03/1:02 PM |
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Some will love it as I do and a few will hate it but who can deny its beautiful? 9
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| Re: Shimmer of Tears by angel_uy |
17-Apr-03/8:14 AM |
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Not sure about lifes breath and loneliness you have spelled wrong other than that its quite a nice mad 5 minutes you had in writing this. 6
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| Re: Wandering Spirit by angel_uy |
17-Apr-03/8:16 AM |
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Almost dramatic, it reads like a thought process rather than a poem. You need to work on imagery and metaphor to make it stand out and grab the readers balls. 5
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| Re: Is It Love by angel_uy |
17-Apr-03/8:20 AM |
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This is basic in all aspects, lacking imagination and any interest value for the reader. In your work I have read thus far some of your lines are good, quite dreamlike, but as poems rather forgettable. Dust yourself down and keep bangin them out. 5
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| Re: Is It Love by angel_uy |
17-Apr-03/8:21 AM |
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By the way I would say tintagiles is by far the best imagery poet on this site, you wanna listen to the geezer.
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| Re: untitled by angel_uy |
17-Apr-03/8:25 AM |
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This is your best, it shows you have made an effort and tried to engage your imagination and it offers more originality. Write of something that really interests you, go to town on it quality over quantity. here's 7 bunnys. 7
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| Re: Leaves by danny duke age 9 |
17-Apr-03/8:28 AM |
Hey Danny !
If you are indeed a 9 year old this is a brave effort mate. Good use of rhyme and you stuck to to the subject well. Keep writing and good luck with your poetry heres an 8.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
21-Apr-03/2:26 AM |
A fine vintage, and nice to see eveyone reading the ingredients before they buy it, I did buy it -9
(p.s thanks for the advice on the desecrated chapel, fine pointers)
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| Re: Hey! Shut up, and cut my grass. by horus8 |
21-Apr-03/2:29 AM |
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This one got my pants in a flymo, very cutting (literally)
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| Re: visual erotic by princesszoe |
21-Apr-03/2:34 AM |
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A exfoliation of lust, like sugarcane.8
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
23-Apr-03/8:55 AM |
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You also let the reader in with this and its a very engaging, accessible poem. I disagree about the end it is not lost, that ride to the hills and the view from the top took me up there with you. 9
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