Re: The Little Merman by avery	6-Sep-04/9:57 AM
Didn't get lost but shorter might be better.
Re: End by Dovina	6-Sep-04/4:27 PM
"Game Over" Good-est.
Re: Soft and Pure by Dovina	10-Sep-04/8:09 AM
"Stroking his brows of sandy shade, that earliest smoothness with mustache and hair graying." The poem starts here for me. "A belief, a certainty?" Everything you are trying to say in the first 2 1/2 lines should be told in this line. Love the last stanza. But criticism aside. It's a -10- as is.
Re: Daddy by LintyWeenis	12-Sep-04/10:09 AM
Says it very well. -10- The lack of a space after the period might be a device to create a sense of urgency. I'd like to see it used uniformly if that's what it's for. Anyway you look at it -10-.
Re: Down Drown by LintyWeenis	12-Sep-04/10:17 AM
So many ways to interpret this. I can't help feeling it's a "mea cupla" in the christian sense of giving your screwed up life to god (If I didn't have this suspicion it would be a -10-.If it's about something real like a m/f relationship, it gets an extra point. For now -9-.
Re: chunks by FreeFormFixation	12-Sep-04/10:25 AM
Don't know why I like it. Evocative?
Re: Grandpa's boat by Caducus	12-Sep-04/1:24 PM
Yeah!
regarding some deleted poem...	12-Sep-04/1:28 PM
Abso-fuckin-lutely!
Re: Run Material Girl by singinkygal	13-Sep-04/8:41 AM
Almost perfect.
Re: Band Ten Hut by LintyWeenis	13-Sep-04/11:53 PM
I can't blow horn worth a damn but I understand 'cause I play harp in a blues band.
Re: Keep Your Mouth Shut and Your Gun Loaded by wilco	13-Sep-04/11:56 PM
Just knock up a neighbor's daughter. You'll be paying for that mistake the rest of your life.
Re: Solitude by Dovina	14-Sep-04/12:00 AM
Why do we choke on "a spiral in Phi?" Pray tell, what does it mean Phi not Pi? -9- for being alone in your "phi-ness."
Re: Your Embrace by Brandy_n_Cali	14-Sep-04/12:11 AM
Shouldn't "the clench of my hand" be " I clench his hard gland?"
Re: take it easy by skaskowski	14-Sep-04/12:13 AM
Cute.
regarding some deleted poem...	15-Sep-04/9:29 PM
Sooooooooooo close. Reconsider the last for lines, please?
Re: Flying things by INTRANSIT	27-Sep-04/7:01 AM
Is the last line- "The red wheelbarrow" is a poem by William Carlos Williams- part of the poem? I think the poem makes more sense without it.
Re: Amputee by INTRANSIT	28-Sep-04/7:13 PM
I count my friend on the middle finger of my hand that is left.-10-
Re: Many Thanks by Dovina	1-Oct-04/8:07 AM
It makes sense if you're referring to back then. I thought you were referring to now.
regarding some deleted poem...	5-Oct-04/7:23 PM
A pimple written to god-Jesus H...
Re: Schisms by Dovina	14-Oct-04/7:18 PM
Big