Re: Archivist of Emotion by Dovina	14-Oct-04/7:27 PM
Lose the 'but' in line 15. The object of the poem must know what's up by line 11. Why beat him down further with your but?
Re: Youth by thepinkbunnyofdoom	14-Oct-04/7:30 PM
"bunch of kids getting wasted I had a future but I misplaced it" Great line.
Re: One True Instant by Dovina	17-Oct-04/10:57 AM
OK, so the last line could be "The sure hope of his shoulders inert." Good poem anyway.
Re: To Leave a Trace by Dovina	17-Oct-04/11:10 AM
God! I hate hopeful poems. Still, this one is OK.
Re: To Leave a Trace by Dovina	20-Oct-04/8:37 AM
You have an impressive resume and vocabulary, Johnny. I suppose that I do appear self-righteous to hypocrites. Anyway, I'm bored by all this blah, blah, blah. Write an article about another lame poet's hair follicles that will be suitable for publication in some "highly respected lit mag." I'll just continue to post here with my opinion of your unimportance and lack of integrity intact. Dan garcia-Black
Re: A Lovely Cog by Dovina	20-Oct-04/8:42 AM
It's a riddle. Are you a librarian?
Re: A Better God by Dovina	22-Oct-04/1:57 AM
It's a riddle. You're a librarian.
Re: Bra in a Bar by Dovina	24-Oct-04/8:30 AM
I've never worn a bra. It sounds wonderful. Both the bar and the bra seem to be located in a good neighborhood.-Upscale-
regarding some deleted poem...	25-Oct-04/10:08 AM
I agree with Mr.I A simple idea warmly written. I've tried to hear the music behind the lyric and keep getting caught at "Still, there's a peace, Felt by all who come To stand beside the fireplace, And somehow feel at home." Is this the refrain or the chorus? All the other verses flow with the mekody I've assigned to it in my "mind's ear.'
Re: For Ike by INTRANSIT	25-Oct-04/10:27 AM
I liked Ike but not as much as I like your poem.
Re: A Man Who Cares by Dovina	26-Oct-04/7:34 AM
Great storytelling. Has the chain been fixed yet?
Re: Ending by Dovina	28-Oct-04/5:19 PM
What are the chances tha yours and Horus8's houses both burned down and are posted as poems on the same day? Wonder...
Re: Trust by Dovina	2-Nov-04/7:54 AM
I like the use many pronouns that make the meaning of the poem seem ambiguous at first. It took me a couple of reads to "get it." Cool.
Re: Grandma by Dovina	4-Nov-04/8:09 PM
Yeah, as one's senses dull with age, it seems that the only thing one still feels strongly as it did in youth is pain. Pain changes from "growing pains" to "growing older pains."
Re: Fair Dianne by Dovina	5-Nov-04/11:54 PM
I heard someone say this once tonight already but I think it bears repeating. "It seems a tad short. Any chance you might stretch it a bit?"
Re: Beyond Love by Dovina	8-Nov-04/8:31 AM
Good but could be great if it weren't so hopeful.
Re: Jesus by Dovina	12-Nov-04/8:05 AM
This poem is about Bush's Jesus not Tony Blair's or yours. Right?
Re: Guinness by Dovina	25-Nov-04/5:37 PM
This sounds like an accurately kept transcript of the night. The last stanza could be the first and nothing would be lost.
regarding some deleted poem...	25-Nov-04/5:53 PM
Both well done and rare at the same time. Excellent.
Re: The Rockets’ Song by Dovina	6-Dec-04/9:03 AM
Are rockets are a phallic symbol in the title? ...for war is life to us, -not death—(Is this death necessary?}. Yep,war is romantic until it touches you with stray bit o' metal. -9- Ask Michael Moore for the extra point to make it a ten.