| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
Beyond Love (Free verse) by Dovina My boredom is exquisite and excessive.
His eyes explore me,
about to speak.
Iâm almost afraid
heâll commit that indiscretion,
and like before,
raise a blip in the boredom.
Up the ladder:
The Idea of Fusion at the Beach (After Wallace Stevens)
Down the ladder:
On the Occasion
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.375
Posted: November 7, 2004 10:23 AM PST; Last modified: November 7, 2004 10:23 AM PSTWeighted score: 5.638736 Overall Rank: 2167 Comments:
[7]
Stephen Robins @ 213.146.148.199
|
8-Nov-04/5:52 AM
|
Reply
Are you getting any at the moment Dovina?
[n/a]
Dovina @ 69.175.6.101
> Stephen Robins
|
8-Nov-04/9:53 AM
|
Reply
No, not at the moment, but thank you for asking.
[7]
Stephen Robins @ 213.146.148.199
> Dovina
|
9-Nov-04/3:05 AM
|
Reply
Has it been a while?
[n/a]
Dovina @ 69.175.6.101
> Stephen Robins
|
9-Nov-04/10:49 AM
|
Reply
I'm beginning to feel chased now, or is it chaste, but once again I do so much appreciate your interst.
Good but could be great if it weren't so hopeful.
Perhaps "blip" is too strong. If I had a Thesaurus, I might look for a similar, but less hopeful word. I understand youâve developed a knack for this and might be able to help.
I've traded my thesaurus for fifty pounds of fortune cookies. Today's fortune about your poem says (pardon me as I read with my mouth full), "Always have old memories and young hopes." BTW- your lucky lotto numbers are 07, 09, 16, 31, 41 and 46. Here, I'll open one for myself. It says, "Nature always sides with the hidden flaw." This is better than the magic 8 ball! Doncha think?
Thank you so much for the help.
New last line: âRaise old memories and young hopes, holding a clue to the hidden flaw and natureâs answer in codes like 07, 09, 16, 31, 41 46.â
This needs more development for me. I want to experience vicariously the depths of ennui.
I give you a poem; you ask for a book; I give you a book, you ask for a life. Been there.
I definitely don't want a book; I wouldn't get past the first chapter before killing either the book or myself.
309 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
