poemranker ::White Stork by Blue Magpie

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Sonnet № 127363

White Stork

by Blue Magpie

Member since 2002 · Posted 19 Jun 2005 · 6 comments

The Stork could say so much without a word, it owned no sacred song it wished to sing. The way it moved its head, or held a wing told us that it had more than merely heard, but understood as well, yet still preferred to keep its peace, if this should chance to bring into the world some quieter, subtler thing, and we, in hoping that it might, concurred; then, in our watching, found ourselves absurd, to see the ignorance to which we cling. We could no more abjure the life of spring than to deny the truth we then inferred. If ever dignity has been conferred we saw it there within this simple bird.

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6 comments

[7] deleted user 19-Jun-05/7:09 AM Reply
Often the AA-BB form has all the subtility of a slogan for sanitary towels, bt you managed quite elegantly.
A pleasant read.
[6] Joshua_Tree › deleted user 19-Jun-05/12:07 PM Reply
It's ABBA, but still difficult to pull off. I'm not sure how to parse line 7.
[9] Bankrupt_Word_Clerk › Joshua_Tree 19-Jun-05/5:40 PM Reply
just leave out the word subtler, or quieter, in line seven. it shortens the line a bit, but gives it a good rhythm.
[7] Dan garcia-Black 19-Jun-05/10:30 AM Reply
Good form.
[7] Dovina 19-Jun-05/7:11 PM Reply
Storks are elegant birds, and lore's attached significance makes them seem more elegant; but your point gets lost in the form and even reduces them to "simple" bird.
[n/a] Blue Magpie › Dovina 19-Jun-05/10:37 PM Reply
The reference to 'simple bird' refers to the supposed speaker's image of storks, and all the rest of nature as being soulless automatons, a counterpoint to the reality that they had just seen and the was so many people see all non-human living things. However I could easily change it to noble, or watchful, or thoughtful, or............