Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

Down Drown (Free verse) by LintyWeenis
I hate when I'm right. It's dumb how things work out. It starts out really great, I'm feeling the best I ever have and I tell myself, "This can't last." Time goes on and suddenly the beautiful yarn I once held is a pile of dirty tangles. No matter how hard I try to make it work, no matter how many tangles I work out, I know that I've messed up and there's no way I can get it back. I know that the only way to save it is to give it to somebody else. With gentler hands. Another's. It will be another's. Even while I know this, I can't stop myself from tightening the knot even more. The yarn knows only my hands and makes little effort to stop me. It's my fault. It's all my fault.

Down the ladder: Bread Wine And Chocolate

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 21
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 31
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 7.0
Weighted score: 6.0
Overall Rank: 1304
Posted: September 4, 2004 11:10 AM PDT; Last modified: September 4, 2004 11:10 AM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
[n/a] sliver @ 63.190.80.10 | 4-Sep-04/11:16 AM | Reply
Waiting for you to vote on something. Anything. Then I'll give you a vote on this.
[6] Dovina @ 24.52.157.176 | 4-Sep-04/12:17 PM | Reply
A good thought in need of control. Get a grip on that yarn, tighten it up.
[9] Dan garcia-Black @ 66.159.205.135 | 12-Sep-04/10:17 AM | Reply
So many ways to interpret this. I can't help feeling it's a "mea cupla" in the christian sense of giving your screwed up life to god (If I didn't have this suspicion it would be a -10-.If it's about something real like a m/f relationship, it gets an extra point. For now -9-.
[n/a] LintyWeenis @ 205.188.117.13 | 12-Sep-04/1:26 PM | Reply
I wrote this about a friend of mine who we'll call "Jack". Jack and his girlfriend as so messed up and so I wrote this not exactly for him, but about him. Having screwy friends is inspiration in a hand basket.
298 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001