Re: Table for 1 by INTRANSIT	29-Dec-20/4:06 PM
Evocative. Loneliness saturates the poem.
Re: This morning by INTRANSIT	29-Dec-20/4:06 PM
nice conceit!
Re: 6.387 seconds by INTRANSIT	29-Dec-20/4:08 PM
I think the rocketship Almost took off but failed. Liked the concrete imagery.
Re: Safe haven by INTRANSIT	29-Dec-20/4:11 PM
Enjoyed the humor!
Re: of people and places (final cut)I by INTRANSIT	29-Dec-20/4:14 PM
its- no apostrophe in this case. In the first stanza, I'd recommend dropping all the periods except for the last one in that stanza.
Re: the product of repetition by nentwined	29-Dec-20/4:22 PM
Cutesy. I see this poem as "a product of repetition".
Re: A call to arms by INTRANSIT	1-Jan-21/10:54 AM
you meant: make them ask why (typo on them) Silly!
Re: What the runes said by INTRANSIT	1-Jan-21/10:59 AM
a few spelling errors, all minor: handful, rescind, water's I have a poem that happens to use some of the same imagery of the rocks! Kind of neat! I will post it. It is titled Gathering Stones. Please do look at it!
Re: The Eskimo and the fish by INTRANSIT	1-Jan-21/11:37 AM
one small spelling error: briefly Like the connection between auger (to drill the hole into the ice so he can fish, and the idea of AUGUR, soothsaying, and omens. Love how you show the Inuit in 2 worlds at once, the world of spirit and augury, and the physical world, and the connection between the 2. Suggest changing the title to The Inuit and the fish! Favorite lines: whiteness of time (double meaning); GREAT line: "small of fish bruised and burled. Love the last line with its double meaning: "who expect nothing more." Well done.
Re: Saline drip to the eye by INTRANSIT	1-Jan-21/11:38 AM
Really liked the second stanza, relates so beautifully to the title, creates an amazing picture of the diseased eye.
Re: Rewrite of a goof poem. by INTRANSIT	1-Jan-21/11:39 AM
Sweet!
Re: The lightest touch by INTRANSIT	1-Jan-21/11:40 AM
Could not picture what was flashing ruby fright. A cop car? Not clear enough to me, some nice imagery there.
Re: A hard life by INTRANSIT	1-Jan-21/11:42 AM
liked your Eskimo and Fish poem much more, used many of the same lines and ideas.
Re: Vulgar peoples by INTRANSIT	1-Jan-21/11:45 AM
Yes, we send rocketships up into space... I don't see the connection between "vulgar peoples, rocketships, the passage of time, and with people gone, peace--leaving ashes and embers. I think it would help to make the connection more clear. Just because we send up rocketships we are vulgar? too unclear for me.
Re: Angels Struggle by SupremeDreamer	1-Jan-21/11:50 AM
Some lovely lines. A few discordant ones: "His fear holds him dear", "needles poking forth" I'd remove the comma after "his circle of pain and joy". Also- I think it should be: Humanity's struggle i.e. the struggle of humanity. You capture strong emotion, passion; I see this as describing Jesus Christ or a Christ-like figure. Like the ending a lot.
Re: What am I doing? by INTRANSIT	1-Jan-21/11:52 AM
Wow. intense.
Re: Panning for gold by INTRANSIT	1-Jan-21/11:55 AM
small grammar fix: its cage (no apostrophe)I love the last 6 lines, love "cree-yaw" for the bird screeching against being imprisoned.
Re: Charlie by INTRANSIT	1-Jan-21/11:56 AM
Hi, Charlie (the goldfish?)!
Re: Bleeding V2 by INTRANSIT	1-Jan-21/11:57 AM
Well said!
Re: Fueled hearts by INTRANSIT	1-Jan-21/12:00 PM
Sheets as a stand-in for streets did not work well for me-- Liked much of this!"Don't burden about crashing; burden doesn't fit well there- just use "worry" or some similar word, I would recommend. cute metaphor.