on The Church in Nagasaki by Staika
28 May 2002, 2:36 PM
I like this so much that I logged on despite being otherwise occupied mostly right now, to say how much I like it. It has a voice all right. Reminds me of .. oddly, of cummings in his this kind of mode; and I really like and admire cuimmings' poetry
on i'm bad at waiting by silvertongueddevil
21 May 2002, 4:00 PM
Brilliant!
I LOVE it!!
sopoignantfunnylisteningcute
I LOVE it!!
sopoignantfunnylisteningcute
on as the hostage by silvertongueddevil
21 May 2002, 11:33 AM
fanTASTic
gotcha!
gotcha!
on geometry by skaskowski
21 May 2002, 11:32 AM
self-pity puts me off and never seems like poetry to me; almost its impossible. poetry a true voice, I hear self-deception here.. and real poetic ability, squandered,
on Do Not Pay Taxes To Feed Those Layabout Scum by ruella
21 May 2002, 11:12 AM
do you do pictures too? It really suggests an illustrator.. I see the darkling leers ...
on Do Not Pay Taxes To Feed Those Layabout Scum by ruella
21 May 2002, 11:11 AM
do you do picturse too? It really suggests an illustrator.. I see the darkling leers ...
on Wicked Danny, A Lesson For You All by ruella
21 May 2002, 11:06 AM
this is funny and Struwwelpeter brought uptodateish and takethepissish with considerable success - i'd dump the "ye" tho, sounds dangerously as if it might be taking itself too seriously, out of place.....; shaggy dog metre.
on All teeth when not. by ifni
21 May 2002, 9:27 AM
i like this
on would i be considered crazy by silvertongueddevil
21 May 2002, 8:59 AM
how cool the interaction between surface and slippery slid-down
on Sansho-shima by spoink
19 May 2002, 6:45 AM
what's the title mean???
you seem better off without her. Get out more
you seem better off without her. Get out more
on Conversation Unspoken by JuddNelson
19 May 2002, 6:40 AM
first draft
on To Anorexia, Wherever I May Find Her by JuddNelson
19 May 2002, 6:39 AM
not very interesting, the thgouth is a cliche and so are many of the phrases .. "lethal precision". Prune .. images mixed smartly, just smart. smart and not deep.
on Black Hearted Graffiti Writer by mogwai
19 May 2002, 6:36 AM
I like this
caught a movement of spirit
and watched it whirl
caught a movement of spirit
and watched it whirl
on Anger Management by wlshepherd
19 May 2002, 6:35 AM
not a poem; this is diary notes (to edit out in case of publication)
you feel mad SOMETIMES when you get angry..? how about those other times? they could be more interesting..not if you stay on the surface of nothing at all though
you feel mad SOMETIMES when you get angry..? how about those other times? they could be more interesting..not if you stay on the surface of nothing at all though
on Out Doubt! by wlshepherd
19 May 2002, 6:32 AM
what then, what do you want???
whjy wait to write this, who do you have to tell? why tease the reader?? what do you see that is this everything?????? is it still?
(vacillation by the way)
whjy wait to write this, who do you have to tell? why tease the reader?? what do you see that is this everything?????? is it still?
(vacillation by the way)
on Louisiana Lovers by wdallan
19 May 2002, 6:02 AM
patchy...the rhythm comes and goes, not under cointrol .. sometimes 5 sometimes 4 stresses in a line
something really nice about it, a lazy afternoon, this well visioned clip... the colour, the mixed emotions, but oh dump cliches like "with fear and trepidation" "the lovers with joy to Heaven will march" --- there is going to be a better version of the last line than that
and "franticly bails" - not "franticly"... indeed better no advertb at all, unless it's an unpredictable one... a counter-theme
love them fishes
can a boat sink in a marsh?? or indeed sail in one??? is it a lake..???
they might be there in a moment, heaven I mean.....
something really nice about it, a lazy afternoon, this well visioned clip... the colour, the mixed emotions, but oh dump cliches like "with fear and trepidation" "the lovers with joy to Heaven will march" --- there is going to be a better version of the last line than that
and "franticly bails" - not "franticly"... indeed better no advertb at all, unless it's an unpredictable one... a counter-theme
love them fishes
can a boat sink in a marsh?? or indeed sail in one??? is it a lake..???
they might be there in a moment, heaven I mean.....
on Summer Vacation by weeb
19 May 2002, 3:31 AM
Lovely,
makes me laugh.
the art of just how much to say and how to put it together; you stay on the tightrope and the result is a smile that goes on...
makes me laugh.
the art of just how much to say and how to put it together; you stay on the tightrope and the result is a smile that goes on...